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[__ Prayer __] gratitude

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THE LORD has seen fit to be extra-merciful towards me. Now, 7 years into truly knowing Him (I went thru a time when I knew -about- Jesus, prayed, and...no real inner-change, because I hadn't humbled myself and actually said the important initial prayer...), I find...

wow. I can be ungrateful like whoa, at times. And I swing into self-everything all too easily. But...

He's brought me a long, long way. I think it certainly helps, immensely, that He has seen fit to make me surprisingly...normal, of sound mind...despite all the junk (and I do mean junk...my own doing, plus others...happens, in the 'real world') that came before.

So...there ya go. I Praise THE LORD for His love and mercy. And I pray for a bit more gratitude. :)
 
THE LORD has seen fit to be extra-merciful towards me. Now, 7 years into truly knowing Him (I went thru a time when I knew -about- Jesus, prayed, and...no real inner-change, because I hadn't humbled myself and actually said the important initial prayer...), I find...

wow. I can be ungrateful like whoa, at times. And I swing into self-everything all too easily. But...

He's brought me a long, long way. I think it certainly helps, immensely, that He has seen fit to make me surprisingly...normal, of sound mind...despite all the junk (and I do mean junk...my own doing, plus others...happens, in the 'real world') that came before.

So...there ya go. I Praise THE LORD for His love and mercy. And I pray for a bit more gratitude. :)
in my case and perhaps it is the same with you, we are ingrained and programmed by the media to have things and be "important" as the world sees it and when we aren't we have issues.

I am aware that segments of people aren't like this and don't see nor teach life should be that way.
 
yeah...I think that's part of it, for me. I think the other thing is...I cannot work, right now. I mean, not to complain...I live a modest, decent lifestyle. Now and then, I'm even blessed with niceties, and this...is not real poverty, Praise God. Not that I'm "too good" for poverty or living with my parents, just...

factor in stigma and such, poverty was extra-rough. Living with my parents was OK for me, probably (looking back...) sad and stressful, for them, not to mention...I think I'm doing better here, in my own place, than I did with them...although I'm glad they had me in with them for a season.

The -1- friendly acquaintance I have from 'back then' called and wanted to hang out. thing is...she'd obviously made time, as in...scheduled time...for her top tier friends. they knew about it well in advance. I was on my way to my parents' for breakfast, she caught me off guard, and I politely declined. Haven't heard from her since, and...well, that's OK and all, but I do kinda wonder: does she just talk to me so she can have her token 'severely mentally ill' (read: Schizophrenic) friend? I mean, she's kind of the sort of liberal/progressive who would do that, as long as its on her terms and there's plenty of space, etc. blah. maybe I'm over-analyzing.

i do get picked on, a whole lot. now, its less about what I have/don't have, more about the junk labels and such from my (admittedly, shady and wasted) past. blah. thing is, though...

I think JLB posted a lot on 'soteria,' the old school understanding of salvation. THE LORD gradually brought deliverance and redemption...to -me- , which I didn't appreciate until recently (hence...all the more reason to pray for gratitude...), but its kind of a really big deal, for THE LORD to make an outcast, laughing stock, etc. normal, healthy, of sound mind, in right standing with my (loving, kind, wonderful) parents, etc.

ugh. per usual, I'm rambling. I just...well, what I've been trying to do, in my better moments, is turn the taunts to praise, Praise to THE LORD. doing better at it, day by day...

anyway, thanks for the thoughtful reply, jasonc . sorry about your current troubles. coming out of bankruptcy is do-able...a friend, their son had to declare some sort of bankruptcy following a messy divorce (didn't help that the wife cleared out all the accounts...-eek- ...), and he's now doing well.

ok. and now...finished. lol. :)
 
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yeah...I think that's part of it, for me. I think the other thing is...I cannot work, right now. I mean, not to complain...I live a modest, decent lifestyle. Now and then, I'm even blessed with niceties, and this...is not real poverty, Praise God. Not that I'm "too good" for poverty or living with my parents, just...

factor in stigma and such, poverty was extra-rough. Living with my parents was OK for me, probably (looking back...) sad and stressful, for them, not to mention...I think I'm doing better here, in my own place, than I did with them...although I'm glad they had me in with them for a season.

The -1- friendly acquaintance I have from 'back then' called and wanted to hang out. thing is...she'd obviously made time, as in...scheduled time...for her top tier friends. they knew about it well in advance. I was on my way to my parents' for breakfast, she caught me off guard, and I politely declined. Haven't heard from her since, and...well, that's OK and all, but I do kinda wonder: does she just talk to me so she can have her token 'severely mentally ill' (read: Schizophrenic) friend? I mean, she's kind of the sort of liberal/progressive who would do that, as long as its on her terms and there's plenty of space, etc. blah. maybe I'm over-analyzing.

i do get picked on, a whole lot. now, its less about what I have/don't have, more about the junk labels and such from my (admittedly, shady and wasted) past. blah. thing is, though...

I think JLB posted a lot on 'soteria,' the old school understanding of salvation. THE LORD gradually brought deliverance and redemption...to -me- , which I didn't appreciate until recently (hence...all the more reason to pray for gratitude...), but its kind of a really big deal, for THE LORD to make an outcast, laughing stock, etc. normal, healthy, of sound mind, in right standing with my (loving, kind, wonderful) parents, etc.

ugh. per usual, I'm rambling. I just...well, what I've been trying to do, in my better moments, is turn the taunts to praise, Praise to THE LORD. doing better at it, day by day...

anyway, thanks for the thoughtful reply, jasonc . sorry about your current troubles. coming out of bankruptcy is do-able...a friend, their son had to declare some sort of bankruptcy following a messy divorce (didn't help that the wife cleared out all the accounts...-eek- ...), and he's now doing well.

ok. and now...finished. lol. :)
with chapter 13, I have a boss and coworker who both filed it. both lost their homes in hard times. my brother had his first house foreclosed, he wished he simply got a second job to save it but felt at the time his daughters needed his time and not a house without him being there. God provided for him later on. he married another and both of them own a house now and its not far from where mom and dad lived.
 
glad to hear some success stories. :)

me...I think part of the reason I need a touch from God to have more gratitude is because I'm bad about letting people steal my joy, or at least...affect how I view things, how I feel, how I look at things. Maybe not permanently, but...too easily, too quickly.

I get picked on, it redirects my gaze inward, to my real and/or perceived flaws, shortcomings. Keep in mind; especially now that THE LORD has made me increasingly whole and placed me in a modest, nice, safe spot to live...

a lot of the mockers are not even better than me by society's standards. I'm not saying that to sound snotty, its just...well, its just petty, meaningless cruelty, that's all. I do suspect a lot of it is coming from "mental health professionals" who (mis)"treated" me, back in the day, but...

just a little FYI, if a counselor, psychotherapist, psychiatrist, etc. decides 'hey, I'm going to ruin this person's reputation and life!,' there's not a whole lot to be done about it. In my case, there was -serious- over-billing, billing for services never received, confidentiality violations left and right, and...

-shrug- its only because my parents are now at the tail end of their upwardly mobile career journey and because THE LORD spared us, changed and forgave me, etc., that I'm not existing how so many people/patients I see at the clinic exist...

poverty, forced treatment, hospitalizations, group homes, homeless-ness, rinse, repeat.

so, gratitude for what I do have--a modest, nice place...good family...what I need + a bit extra...good health...

is -most definitely- called for, both because these are all obviously good things, in and of themselves....

and because society--with the mental health industry leading the way--often denies people like me anything like this, no opportunity to get it for one's self (did I mention being driven out of schools?), and...and...

-sigh- a sad statement on the world, a great Praise unto THE LORD. THE LORD doesn't do things like humanity does, especially humanity left to its own devices...

Isaiah 55:8-9 . :)
 
I love this topic. Here is what I learned in AA. Gratitude is an attitude. It is not just a feeling you have when things go well, it is a mindset. I am grateful for the good and bad. The good feels good and the bad teaches and perfects me. Today I am grateful to Jeff for solving an age old problem I have struggled with for years with a scripture about perfection. I am also grateful to all of you for accepting me on this forum.

attitude-of-gratitude.jpg
 
thanks, Susannah !

i need to learn to be grateful with less than wonderful things, too. its like this...I don't get super-angry, but I get frustrated, a bit...too, too easily. truth? people with my shady backstory are punished and controlled, one way or another (prisons, jails, some places state mental hospitals), and often (usually?) denied any meaningful chance at a life of freedom. and yet...


thanks to THE LORD and His work in my life, I have a remarkable amount of freedom, especially when one remembers that poverty+psych junk often= control by the psych industry, one way or another. -shudder-

so, THE LORD took me as I was, 7 years ago--an unrepentant wretch, destroyed by the usual suspects (sin, satan, self, the world)-- and now...

I have -so- much to be thankful for, I truly do. but its not always about how I -feel- or everyone being nice, shiny happy people-style. and...

i dunno. the really, really -big deal- in my own life is my parents' love, support, maybe even forgiveness (?), despite...me, needs and attitude and health problems and sins and mistakes....

anyway, thanks again. :)
 
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