Angry at InLaws (Spanking)

[Intoxicated by Life]

Recently very "mad" because my Daughter told me her Grandparent's (My Wife's parents) have been spanking her, something they promised us never to do.

Any thoughts/advice welcome.

 

[Nikki]

I just sent you a pm....


If you asked them not to spank her and they are, you need to just come right out and ask them. If you trust them enough to care for your child, then you should feel comfortable enough to confront them with an issue that bothers you.

 

[Quath]

My guess is they would try to justify by saying something like "well, it was just a swat" or "I really wanted to teach her to stay away from the stove."

Let them know you are serious and see if they take you seriously. If not, you can not trust them to watch her.

Quath

 

[Featherbop]

Don't give your kids to anyone you do not, or cannot trust.

 

[paisley]

Apparently you and your wife must have some reason for specifically asking them not to do this and for them to do it anyway suggests a big problem. Are your in-laws Christians? I would not approach them kindly and respectfully when your daughter is not around. I would not get angry because these are your wife's parents and your daughter's grandparents so you don't want to break the relationship. On the other hand, this can not be overlooked either. I would bring over some doughnuts and ask if we could talk. Then I would say your daughter has told you that they have been spanking her and ask if she has been giving them any problems. This way you will not sound like you are accusing them but trying to understand them. Also before talking to them you should ask your daughter "why" they spanked her. After they tell their side of the story (just listen without interrupting), then tell them your side that you understand that maybe your daughter did something wrong or against their house rules, and you don't want your daughter to disrespect her grandparents, but at the same time you trusted them to keep their word not to spank her. So together you need to work on a resolution as to how they as grandparents are not disrespected without spanking her. Then brainstorm together on ideas like leave the discipline to you. Has this problem come up before for you to have to have told them not to spank her again? Or did you ask them not to spank her and then it happened? I

 

[Nikki]

Recently very "mad" because my Daughter told me her Grandparent's (My Wife's parents) have been spanking her, something they promised us never to do.

Any thoughts/advice welcome.

Has this problem been resolved? I'm just wondering how you handled it.