heaven jokes

[jess321]

The Plane Crash


The Pope, Billy Graham, and Oral Roberts were in a
three-way plane crash over the Pacific Ocean. They
all died and went to heaven together.

"Oh, this is terrible," exclaims St. Peter. "I know you
guys think we summoned you here, but this is just one
of those coincidences that happen. Since we weren't
expecting you, your quarters just aren't ready... We
can't take you in and we can't send you back...."

Then he got an idea. He picked up the phone, "Lucifer,
this is St. Peter. Hey, I got these three guys up here. They're
ours, but we weren't expecting them, and we gotta fix the
place up for 'em. I was hoping you could put them up for
a while. It'll only be a few of days. What d'ya say?"

Reluctantly, the Devil agreed.

However, two days later... St. Peter got a call.

"Pete, this is Lucifer. Hey, you gotta come get these
guys. This Pope fellow is forgiving everybody,
the Graham guy is saving everybody, and that Roberts
has raised enough money to buy air conditioning."

 

[jess321]

The Minister and the Taxi Driver


A minister dies and is waiting in line at the Pearly Gates. Ahead of him is a guy who's
dressed in sunglasses, a loud shirt, leather jacket, and jeans. Saint Peter addresses
this guy, "Who are you, so that I may know whether or not to admit you to the Kingdom
of Heaven?" The guy replies, "I'm Joe Cohen, taxi-driver, of Noo Yawk City."

Saint Peter consults his list. He smiles and says to the taxi-driver, "Take this silken
robe and golden staff and enter the Kingdom of Heaven."

The taxi-driver goes into Heaven with his robe and staff, and it's the minister's turn.
He stands erect and booms out, "I am Joseph Snow, pastor of Saint Mary's for the last
forty-three years."

Saint Peter consults his list. He says to the minister, "Take this cotton robe and
wooden staff and enter the Kingdom of Heaven."

"Just a minute," says the minister. "That man was a taxi-driver and he gets a silken
robe and golden staff. How can this be?"

"Up here, we work by results," says Saint Peter."While you preached, people slept;
while he drove, people prayed."