It started with sleep paralysis. I was choked by a shadow entity, it was terrifying. It was a very dark time in my life which I think attracts demons. At the time I was reading books and practicing lucid dreaming etc. I was also miserable and a drunk. Fornication was the norm, bars etc. My life was a hungover mess.
Well one night I had a moment of serious repentance. I was tired of living this life, trapped in sin. I started praying to God. I was open to the idea of God but didn't subscribe to any religion as I thought they were all man made. I thought christianity was the least likely of all of the religions to be true, but I knew in my heart that there was a God. I needed God and I knew it.
So I started praying in my bed one night. Just to "God" be it Buddha, Allah, spaghetti monster, YHWH or whoever God was. I was almost in a trance but well aware of my surroundings. I heard a voice, then two voices. Not audibly but more like a telepathic communication. I was floored. These were two male voices speaking to me. I started asking questions about the spirit world and they were answering my questions. Now the whole time we are having this conversation, they are speaking friendly to me but I can feel a sinister hate toward me from them. I knew it was a charade. I knew they were evil, I realized I had some spiritual discernment. The whole feel or vibe was very dark, so I asked "Is there any humor in the spirit world?" And right away one of the voices tells me a joke that had to do with the proliferation of the "Smith" family. I can't remember the joke but I remember laughing. Later I realized this was was a joke about the mormons and how the demons deceived millions of people to that cult.
Well about that time the whole vibe changes dramatically. I feel something very good approaching. I see closed eye visuals of these blue crystals growing and like out folding from each other. I say "God is here" and then I hear the two male voices say "What is he doing here?" and "I don't know" and they disappeared, they fled.
Then I hear my name called in a gentle voice...."Ian". Then again "Ian". I say "Yes?". Then he says "You have sinned against the Lord". I know who it is right away. It is Christ Jesus. I know the voice. And I realize some how from before time, we know each other and I am astonished.
I hang my head in shame. I don't even ask what my sin is, I have too many sins to count. I am lower than a worm. Now the whole time he is speaking I do not feel condemned. Instead I feel a love from him that is unlike anything I have ever experienced from earth born life. A love that is unimaginable. A love I never want to leave. I realize he is offering me a hope, salvation.
"You have sinned against the Lord. You have three choices. You can go to prison, die, or live with pain, extreme pain. But I will be with you and I will bless you and many people will come to the Lord through you."
I choose option #3.
He then says "If we are going to do this we need to be head to head, heart to heart and fist to fist.
This happened well over a decade ago. Well here I am today with extreme pain. I have extensive nerve pain from something in my back/spinal cord. I have spent over $25,000 trying to diagnose and fix my back. I walk with a cain most of the time. I had spinal cord stimulator surgery and I am heavily medicated. I have to go to physical therapy and chiropractor all the time. I can't stand, sit or drive for any decent amount of time. And as miserable as that sounds it gives me comfort. God is doing a work in me. I have came so far from that first meeting. I praise God, devour the Bible. I have been baptized. I love the Lord so much.
I am an introvert. I cannot see me being a preacher as those people are extroverts. I have no idea what his plans are for my life. I am the only christian in my family. I thank God for revealing himself to me and pulling me from darkness.
By his stripes we are healed, in God we trust.
Well one night I had a moment of serious repentance. I was tired of living this life, trapped in sin. I started praying to God. I was open to the idea of God but didn't subscribe to any religion as I thought they were all man made. I thought christianity was the least likely of all of the religions to be true, but I knew in my heart that there was a God. I needed God and I knew it.
So I started praying in my bed one night. Just to "God" be it Buddha, Allah, spaghetti monster, YHWH or whoever God was. I was almost in a trance but well aware of my surroundings. I heard a voice, then two voices. Not audibly but more like a telepathic communication. I was floored. These were two male voices speaking to me. I started asking questions about the spirit world and they were answering my questions. Now the whole time we are having this conversation, they are speaking friendly to me but I can feel a sinister hate toward me from them. I knew it was a charade. I knew they were evil, I realized I had some spiritual discernment. The whole feel or vibe was very dark, so I asked "Is there any humor in the spirit world?" And right away one of the voices tells me a joke that had to do with the proliferation of the "Smith" family. I can't remember the joke but I remember laughing. Later I realized this was was a joke about the mormons and how the demons deceived millions of people to that cult.
Well about that time the whole vibe changes dramatically. I feel something very good approaching. I see closed eye visuals of these blue crystals growing and like out folding from each other. I say "God is here" and then I hear the two male voices say "What is he doing here?" and "I don't know" and they disappeared, they fled.
Then I hear my name called in a gentle voice...."Ian". Then again "Ian". I say "Yes?". Then he says "You have sinned against the Lord". I know who it is right away. It is Christ Jesus. I know the voice. And I realize some how from before time, we know each other and I am astonished.
I hang my head in shame. I don't even ask what my sin is, I have too many sins to count. I am lower than a worm. Now the whole time he is speaking I do not feel condemned. Instead I feel a love from him that is unlike anything I have ever experienced from earth born life. A love that is unimaginable. A love I never want to leave. I realize he is offering me a hope, salvation.
"You have sinned against the Lord. You have three choices. You can go to prison, die, or live with pain, extreme pain. But I will be with you and I will bless you and many people will come to the Lord through you."
I choose option #3.
He then says "If we are going to do this we need to be head to head, heart to heart and fist to fist.
This happened well over a decade ago. Well here I am today with extreme pain. I have extensive nerve pain from something in my back/spinal cord. I have spent over $25,000 trying to diagnose and fix my back. I walk with a cain most of the time. I had spinal cord stimulator surgery and I am heavily medicated. I have to go to physical therapy and chiropractor all the time. I can't stand, sit or drive for any decent amount of time. And as miserable as that sounds it gives me comfort. God is doing a work in me. I have came so far from that first meeting. I praise God, devour the Bible. I have been baptized. I love the Lord so much.
I am an introvert. I cannot see me being a preacher as those people are extroverts. I have no idea what his plans are for my life. I am the only christian in my family. I thank God for revealing himself to me and pulling me from darkness.
By his stripes we are healed, in God we trust.
