[__ Prayer __] I messed up...

[tiberiu]

:help

Hello, let me introduce myself first, I am Tibi, and I'm 16 yrs old.

I just need help, I can't fight on my own any more... My problem is that I'm fallen in the sin of pornography... I just ran out of ideas, I don't know what to do any more.

I've been for a really long time, since I was 12 I think, but it has just gotten worse. For the last two years I've been seriously fighting it, but I just can't seem to find victory. The only freedom I had was between last christmas and june, after that I've fallen again. That's the only time in my life when I ever felt true joy, peace... But now I don't even know if I was ever saved, if God truly loves me...
I heard so many testimonies when God worked amazing in one's life, and freed him from sin such as mine... But why isn't God working in my life too?
I have about 20 minutes every day of prayer, reading the bible... and most of my prayer is about this problem... and I don't see any resolution, I don't see any solution.

I have a filter installed on my computer, and the password is generated by a program I made using a file which can contain any text, and the text is a bible verse, more exactly Revelation 22:15 which condemns sinners. I just can't stop myself, I have even went as far as writing that verse, saving the file, generating the password and using that to watch porn.

My life is so messed up... I don't know what to do, what to pray, where to turn to, who to ask for help... I'm just messed up...
I believe God exists and all that stuff, but why isn't His grace showing up in my life too? Doesn't He see me, doesn't He see that I'm struggling and I'm desperate for help... I absolutely hate my sin, and I feel ashamed of it... Please help me somehow .

I often find myself praying for forgiveness, asking God to help, to free me from my sin, and so on... just the next day, or next hour to fall all over again...........

I'm out of ideas, I don't know what to do any more, I have tried so many things... online courses, filters, asking God's help... nothing seems to work.

 

[bigllama]

I'll be praying for you.

Also, type

http://192.168.0.1/

into your browser and log in to your router. Then go to the website filtering, and enter all the sites you want to avoid. Then change your router password (spam the keyboard so you have no idea what it is) and copy and paste into the the field for confirming your password. Then you won't be able to go on those sites (but you might be in trouble if something is wrong with your router lol).

 

[turnorburn]

:help

Hello, let me introduce myself first, I am Tibi, and I'm 16 yrs old.

I just need help, I can't fight on my own any more... My problem is that I'm fallen in the sin of pornography... I just ran out of ideas, I don't know what to do any more.

I've been for a really long time, since I was 12 I think, but it has just gotten worse. For the last two years I've been seriously fighting it, but I just can't seem to find victory. The only freedom I had was between last christmas and june, after that I've fallen again. That's the only time in my life when I ever felt true joy, peace... But now I don't even know if I was ever saved, if God truly loves me...
I heard so many testimonies when God worked amazing in one's life, and freed him from sin such as mine... But why isn't God working in my life too?
I have about 20 minutes every day of prayer, reading the bible... and most of my prayer is about this problem... and I don't see any resolution, I don't see any solution.

I have a filter installed on my computer, and the password is generated by a program I made using a file which can contain any text, and the text is a bible verse, more exactly Revelation 22:15 which condemns sinners. I just can't stop myself, I have even went as far as writing that verse, saving the file, generating the password and using that to watch porn.

My life is so messed up... I don't know what to do, what to pray, where to turn to, who to ask for help... I'm just messed up...
I believe God exists and all that stuff, but why isn't His grace showing up in my life too? Doesn't He see me, doesn't He see that I'm struggling and I'm desperate for help... I absolutely hate my sin, and I feel ashamed of it... Please help me somehow .

I often find myself praying for forgiveness, asking God to help, to free me from my sin, and so on... just the next day, or next hour to fall all over again...........

I'm out of ideas, I don't know what to do any more, I have tried so many things... online courses, filters, asking God's help... nothing seems to work.

First thing, are you serious about wanting help, this isn't my lifestyle a friend found it, I've seen videos about this world but this is the best I've seen..

turnorburn

YouTube - Jesus Christ Saved Me from 27 Years of Homosexuality

 

[sherri2]

Ask God to set you free. Don't ask him to just help, ask him to do it and give him permission to do whatever it takes to set you free.

And forgive yourself (each time if necessary), that's important.

And forgive everyone who has contributed to this stronghold in your life, whoever they are, whatever they've done. Ask God to help you or enable you to if necessary.

I'll pray too.


PS. Sometimes a porn addiction can have roots in an unforgiveness issue.

 

[tiberiu]

Thank you very much for help.

Blocking from the router is not going to be very helpful, there are millions of bad websites on the net. I have a filter installed on my laptop, and I got these ideas about how to block it and not have access:

Idea 1 (which is now in use): the password generator I mentioned earlier is split in several parts, which are spread in various places, so getting the password is pretty difficult right now (getting all the parts, unpacking, writing the bible verse, generating the password)
Idea 2: the password generator requires that the user waits for one/two hours before giving the password. The source code will not be available (will be deleted) to prevent further modifying the generator. I know that temptation comes when I'm bored, when I have nothing to do... And temptation will not want me to wait at all, it will make me want it now! In two hours, circumstances may change, etc. Can be combined with idea #1.

I learned once that to fight these kind of things, I must take offensive, and not just wait for the devil to attack. So this is my battle plan. I will be praying to God to give me strength and help.


Though, I don't really know why I got addicted. I remember that since I was 12 I was looking out of curiosity maybe for this stuff...

 

[Cheyenne K]

settingcaptivesfree.com

This provides an online bible study, so to speak, but it directly relates to your problem. There is a course, "The Way of Purity." It provides help with Scripture and your sin. It's a really good source and I can definitely tell you it will help you.

In the end, this may help, but only God will heal. For me, it helped me get a lot closer to God and have a better understanding of why to stay free from immorality. i didn not finish the course, but I have been without sexual immorality since July 6, three days after I started the course.

I will be praying for you.

 

[jasoncran]

:help

Hello, let me introduce myself first, I am Tibi, and I'm 16 yrs old.

I just need help, I can't fight on my own any more... My problem is that I'm fallen in the sin of pornography... I just ran out of ideas, I don't know what to do any more.

I've been for a really long time, since I was 12 I think, but it has just gotten worse. For the last two years I've been seriously fighting it, but I just can't seem to find victory. The only freedom I had was between last christmas and june, after that I've fallen again. That's the only time in my life when I ever felt true joy, peace... But now I don't even know if I was ever saved, if God truly loves me...
I heard so many testimonies when God worked amazing in one's life, and freed him from sin such as mine... But why isn't God working in my life too?
I have about 20 minutes every day of prayer, reading the bible... and most of my prayer is about this problem... and I don't see any resolution, I don't see any solution.

I have a filter installed on my computer, and the password is generated by a program I made using a file which can contain any text, and the text is a bible verse, more exactly Revelation 22:15 which condemns sinners. I just can't stop myself, I have even went as far as writing that verse, saving the file, generating the password and using that to watch porn.

My life is so messed up... I don't know what to do, what to pray, where to turn to, who to ask for help... I'm just messed up...
I believe God exists and all that stuff, but why isn't His grace showing up in my life too? Doesn't He see me, doesn't He see that I'm struggling and I'm desperate for help... I absolutely hate my sin, and I feel ashamed of it... Please help me somehow .

I often find myself praying for forgiveness, asking God to help, to free me from my sin, and so on... just the next day, or next hour to fall all over again...........

I'm out of ideas, I don't know what to do any more, I have tried so many things... online courses, filters, asking God's help... nothing seems to work.

i have lived this till recently, hang on and fast and remind the lord of his promise in 1 john 1:9 "
if any man have sin in his life let him repent and god is just and will forgive him and cleanse him from all unrighteousness"
you cant stop because you dont have the power. like you i used the filters and also i am married and porn stole from my wife and i knew it and couldnt stop. it was a miracle that i stopped and i prayed for 14 yrs for my deliverence from porn/masterbation.

he will deliver you. i know he will, i am nothing special that god would choose me over you.

its a powerful spirit, even though know i hate porn that ole devil wants me back, and i must be viligant dialy.

any woman who is attractive and shows flesh will tempt me to think about her in that porn fantasy. its hard not to so i do know the struggle.

 

[Danus]

:help

Hello, let me introduce myself first, I am Tibi, and I'm 16 yrs old.

I just need help, I can't fight on my own any more... My problem is that I'm fallen in the sin of pornography... I just ran out of ideas, I don't know what to do any more.

I've been for a really long time, since I was 12 I think, but it has just gotten worse. For the last two years I've been seriously fighting it, but I just can't seem to find victory. The only freedom I had was between last christmas and june, after that I've fallen again. That's the only time in my life when I ever felt true joy, peace... But now I don't even know if I was ever saved, if God truly loves me...
I heard so many testimonies when God worked amazing in one's life, and freed him from sin such as mine... But why isn't God working in my life too?
I have about 20 minutes every day of prayer, reading the bible... and most of my prayer is about this problem... and I don't see any resolution, I don't see any solution.

I have a filter installed on my computer, and the password is generated by a program I made using a file which can contain any text, and the text is a bible verse, more exactly Revelation 22:15 which condemns sinners. I just can't stop myself, I have even went as far as writing that verse, saving the file, generating the password and using that to watch porn.

My life is so messed up... I don't know what to do, what to pray, where to turn to, who to ask for help... I'm just messed up...
I believe God exists and all that stuff, but why isn't His grace showing up in my life too? Doesn't He see me, doesn't He see that I'm struggling and I'm desperate for help... I absolutely hate my sin, and I feel ashamed of it... Please help me somehow .

I often find myself praying for forgiveness, asking God to help, to free me from my sin, and so on... just the next day, or next hour to fall all over again...........

I'm out of ideas, I don't know what to do any more, I have tried so many things... online courses, filters, asking God's help... nothing seems to work.

tiberiu, I will certainly pray for you. I want to encourage you to keep your faith in God and know that he is with you; that he is a forgiving God.

When I was 16 we did not have the internet, but the problem of lust was no less powerful. That's been true for many years for many a young man.

One thing, I would suggest you find a good men's group that can help hold you accountable and perhaps provide some good direction. Perhaps you might find such a group at your church, or even another church near you all together. As you get older, more mature, you should begin to see women differently. Please know that what is portrayed in pornography is not a true reflection of real love between a man and a woman. Watching that junk will only feed your depravity; rather feed your soul son on that which is good.

I am praying for you and if there is anything I can do to help, just ask.
God Bless

 

[tiberiu]

settingcaptivesfree.com

This provides an online bible study, so to speak, but it directly relates to your problem. There is a course, "The Way of Purity." It provides help with Scripture and your sin. It's a really good source and I can definitely tell you it will help you.

In the end, this may help, but only God will heal. For me, it helped me get a lot closer to God and have a better understanding of why to stay free from immorality. i didn not finish the course, but I have been without sexual immorality since July 6, three days after I started the course.

I will be praying for you.

I've been there, and did about 80% of the course... And it helped me too... but I fell again after that period of freedom I mentioned earlier. I don't want to go back there ...



Thank you to all of you for your help. May God bless you. I know that this lust is very strong... I have a lot of experience. My idea is to make it harder to fall, because I can't avoid it, the lust will always come back. Making it much harder is a good idea, because I have the chance to stop until I see that first image, because after that it's impossible.

I know that I can't fight all by myself... that is why I need God's help.
But since I first fell after that period of freedom, it wasn't very often, about once a week or once every two weeks... but it's still bad. I will continue praying and asking for God's help. I don't know any groups in my church, but I do know that tuesday evening is a prayer service, where about 100 persons come. I've been wanting to go there for a long time, but I just always found excuses not to. I think it's that flesh - spirit battle, the flesh wants something, usually bad, the spirit wants something else....


Lord I want to ask you to forgive me for falling so many times. Forgive me for trying to get saved by my own works, and not by Your grace. Forgive me for not giving my heart to you entirely. I thank you, Lord and Father, for your love, which you have shown us on the cross, where your one and only Son died... He died for me, because of my addiction, because of my sin. He died so that I can live, and not struggle with these things... Please show me your grace, please help me out of this sin. I know I can't fight it alone, I have tried. But I know that you have overcome the world, not me. I give all of myself to You, Lord, I'm asking You to do what You want to do with me. Please, change my heart, make it new, make me reborn. I want to know You more, I want to get closer. Please, help me, Lord. I can't do anything by myself, if there is one who can do anything to help me, that person is You and only You. Thank you Lord...