what is the most embarrassing or funny thing that....

[destiny]

Thought it would be interesting to hear some true stories about your most embarrassing moment, or something really funny that has happened to you in your life...

Who will go first? :bday:


I'm still thinking...

 

[Eve777]

This didn't happen to me, it happened to my husband and his brother....I'm still thinking about me....


My husband and his brothers were doing a concert one time and wanted to do Elvis...now one brother in law looks a lot like Elvis and my husband can sing like him..So they cooked up this scheme.....My Brother in Law would stand at the Mic and my husband would crouch down behind one of the speakers (large speakers) and he would do the singing...

Well it was going great,,,,,until right in the middle of the song,,,my darling husband began insulting the women in the front row (mostly friends) ....now my brother in law could play along so no one would know he was faking or he could just admit he wasn't the one doing the singing.....

It was pay back time of course.....they were alway playing practical jokes.....he finally just laughed and admitted he was not singing.....my husband came out and it turned out to be really funny.....although it was a temporary embarrassment for my poor brother in law...

 

[destiny]

Good one Eve!

I had two more stories and accidently deleted them.....Brutus do you wanna have another go at it??? Forgive me I was experimenting

 

[Blazin Bones]

...I'll consider it...

 

[stovebolts]

In my mad dash to the Mc Donalds rest room...

I had to call information on my cell phone three times to get the Mc Donalds I was "Trapped" in so they could deliver my toilet paper...

Incedently, I was late to work that morning... :

 

[destiny]

In my mad dash to the Mc Donalds rest room...

I had to call information on my cell phone three times to get the Mc Donalds I was "Trapped" in so they could deliver my toilet paper...

Incedently, I was late to work that morning... :

: ohhhhh my gosh!! That really was one of those unforgetable moments wasn't it : ? It will be hard to top that one!! I would never go back to that mcdonalds :

 

[Quath]

As a disclaimer, I will plead youth and horniness:

I have been atheist since I was 13, but I was always in the closet about it. I was also a person that was very afraid of being rejected while asking someone out. So it took a lot to work my nerves up to do so.

At 16, I work up the nerve to ask out a girl in my class. She says "Yes. Lets go to a revival this Wednesday." So I was happy she said yes, but was not happy it was not going to be a typical date. I figured that I would go to her church.. show her I am a nice guy.. and things would progress.

So she picks me up in her car on Wednesday. She turns on the Christian music station on the way. I figure she is just getting into the mood or something. Along the way, we make small talk. I feel like every statement I make is an extreme effort to avoid making myself look like an idiot. She warns me that people get excited at her church and may shout out "amen". I play it off like it is no big deal.

So we arrive. She sits second pew from the front. Since you can't talk in church, I am saved from trying to be witty and charming. I eventually pay attention to the preacher who is giving a story about a cripple wandering into a tent. Two people lift the cripple up to see a preacher healing a hurt man. The cripple saw Jesus superimposed on top of the preacher and started to cry. At this point, people were breaking out in loud "AMEN" and "HALLELUJAH." I worked hard at not giglling. So the cripple turns to thank the people lifing him up and he realizes he is standing on his own. At this point I think a couple of people pass out from the excitement.

It dies down some and the preacher announces that the choir should get behind him. Well, my pew gets up and the one in front gets up. I am not sure what is happening so I do what I always do... copy people around me. Well, next thing I know I am in the choir. The girl I asked out had just stood up to let people go past her. I feel like a big dummy. But I am in the choir! I have a singing voice that only a moose would love. I just mouth the words since I don't know all the hymms they sing. After an eternity of being up on stage, we finally go back to our seats.

Well, the girl is crying because she was so happy I was moved by the holy ghost to go sing. Her mascarra is sliding down her face. I realize that while I was feeling like a fool, I was making massive brownie points. Maybe.. just maybe I would be able to cash in those points.

Well, the sermon keeps going on and on. After an hour, the guy is still talking. Doesn't this guy know the first rule of church: Thou shall not go over an hour unless people's cooking dost burneth.

Well, after 90 minutes, he announces the closing ceremony and time for the prayer line. "Finally!" I hop up with the people around me. I start heading for the exit, but someone points to the center aisle. I see the preacher there shaking someone's hand so I realize that must be the exit ceremony.

So I hop in the line and look around and see that once again I left my "date" behind. I figure that she wants to freshen up after her crying or something and wonder why the line is going slow. Then I see someone fall to the floor. And then another fall the floor. People throw sheets over this woman's dress so people could not see her panties.

Ever seen that camera shot where the person gets a little bigger and the background starts to receed away in some moment of great realization. Well, that is how I felt. I realized I was in a faith healing line and started to panic. But the boys in front of me went to my school. They were not weird or anything. I figured I would just copy them. You can probably just shake the preacher's hand or something.

Well, the preacher and his assistant move down the line. I can hear him talking in tongues. The girl I asked out is sitting in the pew watching me and crying all over again. I know if I head back to the pew, I will lose any brownie points I have made thus far. So I stay.

All of the sudden, the three boys in front of me are on the floor. The preacher is right before me and says "What do you want?" Suddenly, I get flashbacks to Santa Claus and start thinking of getting a car, money or a full X-Men comic book collection. But I realize that would not go over well here. So I copy the answer the boy in front of me said "Ummmm.. to feel God?"

So he puts his hand on my head and one behind my neck and pushed back. I realize I need to fall back to keep my head attached. He mumbles some words and pushed me all the way to the floor. Now what?

So I peek and see the boy in front of me. He is on his back and has his hands in the air. He is shaking like he is in an epileptic fit. I try to see my "date" but I am too low to the ground. I do see several people staring at me so I realize I look like I am just taking a nap. So I raise my hands and also shake around in a poor attempt to blend in. I keep peaking at the guy in front of me to know how long I have to do this. I look in the other direction and see a old lady fall down next to me. My arms are tiring and this feel like it is going on forever. My years training as a couch potato are not paying off! Finally, the boy stops shaking and I quit as well.

I head back to my seat and my date looks like a complete clown. Her tears have been smeared everywhere. She looked like she modeled her makeup after Tammy Faye Baker. She said "That was so beautiful that the holy spirit moved you that much today. You have been really blessed by Jesus."

I remember the ride home. I felt very stunned. I could not believe what all I had done to try to win a girl that I no longer felt any interest in. I told her the next day that we couldn't go out anymore. I think she believes that I was too overwhelmed by Jesus or something.

Good times.. good times...

Quath

 

[destiny]

What a hilarious adventure!
Believe it or not when I was an unbeliever I had a similar experience of ending up in the prayer line.
I went up because the preacher said for everybody under the age of 21 to go up front (i thought i had no choice)
Well the preacher starts making his way down the line and I'm really terrified because I know no matter what i won't be getting saved....I wasn't a conformist, it had to be real or forget it.
He finally gets to me and he looks at me and says, "Are you saved sanctified and filled with the Holy Spirit?", I said no and I'm not ready to be either.
He said,"well then you might as well go back to your seat".
It took me many years to get over the resentment from having people stare at me for being the only one who was told to 'go sit down'.
He could have told me he would pray for me right then or something.

You would be surprised at the people who can relate to what you said about them trying to push you down on the floor, my husband can tell a funny story about that

As far as your choir adventure...I can't top that : Maybe God was teaching you a lesson that day!

 

[Judy]

It was last summer, and I had my granddaughters :smt061 over and we were swimming when the phone rang. So I told the girls to sit on the steps while I ran and got the phone.
I ran in the house and got the phone and was on my way back outside when Drake (my dog) which stand 27 1/2" tall and I am 5' with an inseam of 28", well anyway Drake took off running and went right between my legs, which lifted me off the ground so now I am riding on his back :o and I fell off as he went down the 3 steps leading to the patio :smt087 ...I threw the phone in the pile of wood and landed on the first step and bounced down the other two out into the patio.. you should of seen the look on the girls faces :smt118 ... it was priceless... as they then laugh their heads off : :smt044 ...brats :smt050

 

[nuhmmie]

oh quath, destiny.....

I'm laughing so hard, you both are killinn' me! :

you're all funny. I'll try to think of one. I know, I'll ask my mother and sister, they keep all that stuff safely tucked away in their memories. But I don't think I could top any of ya'll. ROFL

 

[txbkldy]

I am on the praise and worship team at mychurch. On Sunday nights we sing and then go sit in the audience and then when it's time for the invitation or closing song we come back up to sing.
This one particular evening, a very young man had played his guitar as the offertory song. We were passing each other on the steps and I wanted to let him know what a good job he had done. Therefore, I took my eyes off of the steps. So, if any of you have ever tried not to fall when you stub your toe on a step, you probably know it would have looked better just to fall and be done with it, but no, hehehe... I don't take things lying down. So here I am stumbling my way up the steps while our music minister is looking at the other side of the church talking to the congregation about the talent we have in our church, while I'm doing my Laurel and Hardy routine next to him. He sees me out of the corner of his eye and instead of offering his hand to help me, he says into his microphone, "Have a nice trip?" I could have killed him while the entire congregation of about 200 laughed at me. I told him later that I wanted to deck him for making it more noticeable and he said to me, "It was like an elephant in the room. Everyone knew it was there. I had to address it."
Needless to say, now when I'm walking up on the stage I keep my attention firmly fixed on where my feet are going. :

 

[nuhmmie]

why me?!

well LOL
since we're talking about falling, I suppose "slipping" would be appropriate here.

it was my baptism. oh yes, that all important day...

it was a warm sunk in enlarged tub. sort of like a big hot tub. no rail, just steps.

I take one step, in the robe they make you wear mind you, the long heavy robe.

I take step number two.......sort of..

I hit the second step and swoosh! down into the baptism pool I go, BUT I was able to keep my head above the water as the rest of me went down for the count.

The pastor says "guess she couldn't wait!" and the crowd, roars. so what do I do?

I pull a Nixon.

why? I don't know. I guess I had to do something! : So there you have it, I practically baptized myself.

 

[stovebolts]

nuhmmie

Ha! That's GREAT!

: :smt048

 

[Quath]

That baptism story cracked me up. I remember mine when I was 7. Before the baptism, the preacher told me that he was going to say a certain phrase. That was the clue to hold my breath before he dunked me. The phrase was something like "I will baptise this child."

So the ceremoney is going ok. I am sanding in water and listening to him for the phrase. Suddenly I hear it and take a deep breath and hold it. But he keeps on talking. I hold it until I start to turn red in the face. Finally, I blow my air out right as he says the phrase again. As I am sucking air back into my lungs I get dunked underwater. I panic and start kicking. I spash the preacher and I imagine several people close to the pool.

Luckily, he pulls me up before I need CPR. I was a little embarassed at how wet I got him. But I was too relieved at being able to breath again to worry too much.

Quath

 

[aiki]

My grandfather, who was a pastor for over fifty years, told me about a time when he was sitting on stage in church during the pre-sermon hymn singing and observed a man with his fly open and his shirt-tail sticking through it in the second row from the front. In an effort to save the man some embarrassment, my grandfather wrote the man a short note alerting him to his condition. When the ushers came to the front of the church for the offering he handed his note to one of them to give to the protruding fellow. As the ushers passed around the offering plates the congregation rose to sing a hymn. At the same time, the man received my grandfather's note. Upon reading the note, the man, who was now standing, quickly reached down and zipped up his fly -- but too hastily. The very long hair of the women standing in front of him, which was still hanging over the back of the chair in which the woman had been sitting, caught in his zipper and snagged. Horrified, the man attempted to free the woman's hair from his fly. But this only served to make the woman's head snap back violently. So, here's this man fussing furiously with his crotch and the woman ahead of him repeatedly jerking her head back like a wolf howling at the moon. All the while everyone around is singing stoically but giving sidelong glances and raising their eyebrows at the capering duo. My grandfather said he nearly fell off the stage trying not to burst out in laughter. He said that all through his sermon he looked everywhere but at those two for fear he would start to laugh uncontrollably.

In Christ, Aiki.

 

[nuhmmie]

My grandfather, who was a pastor for over fifty years, told me about a time when he was sitting on stage in church during the pre-sermon hymn singing and observed a man with his fly open ...In Christ, Aiki.

aiki, that's hysterical! ROFL

 

[aiki]

Yeah, I thought so, too!

Glad you got a laugh out of it! :-D :-D

In Christ, Aiki.