HELPPLESSE

[Ineedalittlehelpplease]

So there is this girl I really like, and she really likes me back. The only issues are that 1), she can’t date. (I’ll get to 2 and 3 later). So, we decided to wait. But here’s issue 2)she says she might start liking someone else in the meantime. I don’t know how I feel about waiting. Problem 3), today we talked again, knowing we like each other. But the conversation turned sexual, however she asked me if that was alright and I blindly said yes. I don’t know what to do, did I make the right choices?

 

[Enlightenedtruth]

I don’t know what to do, did I make the right choices?

Yes, No and No

1) Waiting to date is always ok

2) If she says she may start liking someone else while "waiting"; she is not the one (and she certainly is prepared to wait)

3) If she wants to talk about sex before she can even date; she is not the one. If a relationship is not based on something more substantial, it will never last.

As for the Christian perspective, waiting for marriage to have sex is the appropriate choice.

 

[Tenchi]

So there is this girl I really like, and she really likes me back. The only issues are that 1), she can’t date.

Oh? Why is that?

2)she says she might start liking someone else in the meantime. I don’t know how I feel about waiting.

What is dating for, exactly? What does God intend should happen between a young man and young woman when they become romantically involved? Does He intend they should just play about, dabbling in romance for no good reason, tempting themselves with the natural impulses that arise from romance? No.

Romance (aka dating) is supposed to lead to marriage. This is God's design. Are you going to marry this girl? It doesn't sound like it. So, what's the dating for? Why not just be friends and leave the romance stuff for a relationship that you expect to end in marriage?

Problem 3), today we talked again, knowing we like each other. But the conversation turned sexual, however she asked me if that was alright and I blindly said yes. I don’t know what to do, did I make the right choices?

??? This girl engaged in sexual talk with you? What does this tell you about her? Think about it: She wants to "play the field" and wants you to be okay with that. But, she starts inflaming you both with sexual talk. To what purpose? Does this girl sound like she has God's view of romance and sexuality firmly in her mind and heart, desiring to obey Him in the realm of such things? No. She sounds quite selfish, actually, and very foolish. So, get away from her! She's bad news!

Proverbs 2:16-19
16 So you will be delivered from the forbidden woman, from the adulteress with her smooth words,
17 who forsakes the companion of her youth and forgets the covenant of her God;
18 for her house sinks down to death, and her paths to the departed;
19 none who go to her come back, nor do they regain the paths of life.

Proverbs 5:3-6
3 For the lips of a forbidden woman drip honey, and her speech is smoother than oil,
4 but in the end she is bitter as wormwood, sharp as a two-edged sword.
5 Her feet go down to death; her steps follow the path to hell;
6 she does not ponder the path of life; her ways wander, and she does not know it.

I would also point out that you allowed the sexual talk to go on. What does this say about you? What does this reveal about where you're at with God?

Proverbs 5:22-23
22 The iniquities of the wicked ensnare him, and he is held fast in the cords of his sin.
23 He dies for lack of discipline, and because of his great folly he is led astray.

You're playing with fire. Don't complain when you get burned.

Look, God doesn't tell us to steer clear of sex outside of marriage to spoil our fun. He certainly doesn't need any of us to obey Him; He's not affected in the slightest by our rebellion toward Him. But, man, we sure are! Not obeying God takes us out of the protection and blessing that is in all of God's rules. And when we step out of that protection and blessing that God intends to give to us in His commandments, we step into corruption, destruction and death.

Galatians 6:7-8
7 Do not be deceived: God is not mocked, for whatever one sows, that will he also reap.
8 For the one who sows to his own flesh will from the flesh reap corruption...

Romans 6:23
23 For the wages of sin is death...

James 1:14-16
14 But each person is tempted when he is lured and enticed by his own desire.
15 Then desire when it has conceived gives birth to sin, and sin when it is fully grown brings forth death.
16 Do not be deceived, my beloved brothers.


So, do you want life and light, or darkness and death? When you choose to do what God has commanded you not to do - like talking dirty with some over-sexed girl - your fellowship with God "dies," it stops cold and won't begin again until you repent of your sin, confess it to God, and start walking in constant submission to Him throughout each day (Romans 6:13-18; James 4:6-10; 1 John 1:9). And the longer you allow this deadness between you and God to go on, the harder, blinder, and deafer to God you'll grow until, one day, you'll be so far in darkness you never think of God and the sin that should horrify and disgust you has become common and boring.

 

[for_his_glory]

I see you are only 19 and if this girl is not allowed to date yet it seems she might be quite younger then you if I am right. Two red flags arise as if she can not wait until she is old enough to date you and might find someone else and only wants to have sex with you then with such a person turn away. I'm not sure if you are Spiritually born again and indwelled with the Holy Spirit, but these below scriptures teaches us not to be unevenly yoked with unbelievers. If you are a believer in Jesus Christ then you need to choose a mate that also believes in the faith of Christ. Take time to really know each other and establish a friendship that consist of trust and belief in each other and allow Christ to be the center of your friendship.

2Cor 6:14 Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?
2Cor 6:15 And what concord hath Christ with Belial? or what part hath he that believeth with an infidel?
2Cor 6:16 And what agreement hath the temple of God with idols? for ye are the temple of the living God; as God hath said, I will dwell in them, and walk in them; and I will be their God, and they shall be my people.
2Cor 6:17 Wherefore come out from among them, and be ye separate, saith the Lord, and touch not the unclean thing; and I will receive you,
2Cor 6:18 And will be a Father unto you, and ye shall be my sons and daughters, saith the Lord Almighty.

 

[Josef]

So there is this girl I really like, and she really likes me back. The only issues are that 1), she can’t date. (I’ll get to 2 and 3 later). So, we decided to wait. But here’s issue 2)she says she might start liking someone else in the meantime. I don’t know how I feel about waiting. Problem 3), today we talked again, knowing we like each other. But the conversation turned sexual, however she asked me if that was alright and I blindly said yes. I don’t know what to do, did I make the right choices?

Hey All
Ineedalittlehelpplease, you did the right thing in asking for help. That is a mature thing to do. Now you have to continue to be mature, as you are the adult in the relationship. Your young lady friend is obviously underage. You failed give her age, and if she were 18 we wouldn't be having this conversation.
So what to do?

"1), she can’t date."

Well that settles that. If this is her parents rule, don't try to fight it, or sneak around behind their backs. Please understand me, I am being deadly serious with you, it will not go well for you when they find out. You will be proving their point. You can't be trusted. You understand. You have to earn the parents trust.
Start out with honesty. It means everything to a parent. It makes you trustworthy. Make sure this is more than "really likes," because both of you have to be committed to each other; and by this, I mean that both you want to get married. Only then will years seem like days.

Genesis 29:15 And Laban said unto Jacob, Because thou art my brother, shouldest thou therefore serve me for nought? tell me, what shall thy wages be?

Genesis 29:18-20 And Jacob loved Rachel; and said, I will serve thee seven years for Rachel thy younger daughter.
And Laban said, It is better that I give her to thee, than that I should give her to another man: abide with me.
And Jacob served seven years for Rachel; and they seemed unto him but a few days, for the love he had to her.

As you can see, Jacob worked seven years for his future father-in-law but it seemed like days. That is the commitment I am talking about. If you both have that kind of commitment, then I have further advice. But I want to hear back from you before I give it.

Because if your relationship is just about getting in her pants, you are all kinds of wrong. You would be lucky to just go to jail. If she were my daughter, and I found out that an adult did what you suggesting to my child, I would have no problem going to jail for what I did to you. Trust me you would never do it again.

Run away from this relationship.

So tell what you have decided to do.

Keep walking everybody.
May God bless,
Taz

 

[Anaphora]

Friend. I wouldn't get involved with her. Most people who claim to be Christian, are playing church.
James chapter 1 tells us to be Doers of the word. Some Christian people are hearers only. There not sincere and diligent about God.

James chapter 2 tells us about dead works.
Those who are playing church have dead works. There play actors playing church.

And I wouldn't get involved with the heathen. They will compromise your values and beliefs.
Corinthians chapter 6 tells us to stay away from outsiders. Christian people and heathen are not compadable.

It's your decision.

 

[D-D-W]

So there is this girl I really like, and she really likes me back. The only issues are that 1), she can’t date. (I’ll get to 2 and 3 later). So, we decided to wait. But here’s issue 2)she says she might start liking someone else in the meantime. I don’t know how I feel about waiting. Problem 3), today we talked again, knowing we like each other. But the conversation turned sexual, however she asked me if that was alright and I blindly said yes. I don’t know what to do, did I make the right choices?

OK - how old are both of you?

1 - there are many reasons someone will not or can not date. Find out the reasons.

2 - if you are both in your teens (as i suspect) the feelings of romance and crush come and go quickly. The only way that does not happen is if you both commit to be exclusive in the relationship. That way you both grow together rather than separately.

3 - again, assuming you are both teens, hormones drive a lot of things beyond just maturing your bodies. That includes a LOT of sexual feelings, sensations, mental images, curiosity, etc. And those feelings/longings/sensations/thoughts can be VERY powerful. So conversations turning sexual is not uncommon. However, is it glorifying to God? Is it helping you (and her) to control and channel those sexual feelings and thoughts in a constructive way?

The ball is in your court. You need to decide what your next step is.