Does God want you to have a low self esteem?

[Dave...]

Does God want you to esteem yourself high, or to esteem yourself low? Is it that simple, or is there more to it?

 

[golfjack]

reply

Of course God wants us to esteem ourselves high.



May God bless, golfjack

 

[Poke]

How about a definition of self-esteem?

 

[Solo]

I'll give ya'll a one word hint:

"Self"

 

[lovely]

I'd say no self-esteem at all, honestly.

Adam and Eve in Genesis were the first to be self-aware. Genesis 3:7 Not such a great thing, really.

Jesus doesn't ask us to do one thing in our self, but to cast all our cares upon Him. He was meek, and lowly, and He expects us to follow Him in self denial.

Matthew 11:28
28 Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.
29 Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls.
30 For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.

Matthew 6:24
24 Then said Jesus unto his disciples, If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow me.
25 For whosoever will save his life shall lose it: and whosoever will lose his life for my sake shall find it.

Luke 14:26 If any man come to me, and hate not his father, and mother, and wife, and children, and brethren, and sisters, yea, and his own life also, he cannot be my disciple.

Consider the self esteem of the Pharisees, and the motive of heart that it is born out of.
John 12:43 For they loved the praise of men more than the praise of God.

How do we love ourselves already?

Ephesians 5:29-30
29 For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church:
30 For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones.

But this is the truth about us...

Jeremiah 17:9 The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it?

Isaiah 64:6 But we are all as an unclean thing, and all our righteousnesses are as filthy rags; and we all do fade as a leaf; and our iniquities, like the wind, have taken us away.

Ephesians 2:3 Among whom also we all had our conversation in times past in the lusts of our flesh, fulfilling the desires of the flesh and of the mind; and were by nature the children of wrath, even as others.


I prefer this to self-esteem anyday...

2 Corinthians 3:18
18 But we all, with open face beholding as in a glass the glory of the Lord, are changed into the same image from glory to glory, even as by the Spirit of the Lord.

and this...

Matthew 5:3 Blessed are the poor in spirit: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

Ephesians 3:16 That he would grant you, according to the riches of his glory, to be strengthened with might by his Spirit in the inner man;

Believers need to avoid this...

Jeremiah 2:11 Hath a nation changed their gods, which are yet no gods? but my people have changed their glory for that which doth not profit.

I think self-esteem low, or high, can be equated with self-righteousness. It is born from a humanistic religion called psychology that is "self" focused. God does not want us to love the world, or mix it's teachings with His, but to abide in Him alone...self-esteem isn't even an issue when our eyes remain fixed on Him, and serving Him, and His purpose. We are to love Him with all, and then others as ourselves...esteeming others before ourselves. Christ did this.

1 John 2:15-17

15 Love not the world, neither the things that are in the world. If any man love the world, the love of the Father is not in him.
16 For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the Father, but is of the world.
17 And the world passeth away, and the lust thereof: but he that doeth the will of God abideth for ever.

Notice my signature...the world will hate us as they hated him, but our joy, and strength, are in Him alone...not what the world thinks of us, or even what we think of ourselves. The Lord bless all of you.

 

[moniker]

How about a definition of self-esteem?

From the OED:
Favourable appreciation or opinion of oneself.

 

[AHIMSA]

I definitely think God wants us to look upon ourselves with a positive attitude. A good self-esteem is essential to a healthy state of mind, and thus, a healthy and productive life. The firm and steady guidance of the Spirit, and the strong degree of self reflection that her presence beckons leads to an upsurge in self-confidence. Personally, I feel that my degree of self esteem is tied to my level of mindfullness, of awarness both of myself, of others, and the world.

This is an important point, self confidence that arises out of self reflection tends to be more grounded in reality. The deeper we know ourselves, the more our self-esteem can be grounded on genuine truths about our being.

The self-confidence that arises from delusion, a confidence that we gather based on our imagination, a confidence that is gathered without self-reflection and the guidance of the Spirit, becomes a confidence built on false pretences. This, i find, can easily lead to arrogance and pride; two great dangers fostered by the ego illusion.

 

[Spirit Driven]

How about a definition of self-esteem?

From the OED:
Favourable appreciation or opinion of oneself.

Try this for size guys.... become Holy.... even if you are hated by men.

Grace and Peace to you

 

[Nocturnal_Principal_X]

How about a definition of self-esteem?

The first part of Wikipedia’s article on Self-esteem states the following:

“In psychology, self-esteem or self-worth includes a person's subjective appraisal of himself or herself as intrinsically positive or negative to some degree.â€Â

Source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Self-esteem

Continue reading to get a better picture of how to define self-esteem but essentially you are more then likely going to learn that “self-esteem†is nothing more then an over inflated emphasis on oneself. The reality is that for the most part secular psychology (which is where the term comes from) puts way to much emphasis on the self.

This semester at Southeastern Baptist Theological Seminary I am taking a class called “Counseling Theory,†and basically what I am doing in this class is reading a book that explores the various secular counseling theories out thereâ€â€such as Psychoanalytic Theory, Adlerian Therapy, Existential Therapy, Personal-Centered Therapy just to name a few.

So far, and the semester is half over, I have pretty much learned that all of these theories have an over emphasis on self. Now if one where to contrast that with how the Bible views man, which is being done in the class I am taking, they would find how off base such an emphasis is.

Perhaps this is odd coming from me, perhaps it is notâ€â€considering I got my undergrad in Psychology. But after my first semester at Southeastern Baptist Theological Seminary and the classes that followed I have come to reject secular psychology. My trust and confidence is in the Word of God alone, and not in the theories of men. For that reason I am pursuing a Masters of Divinity with Biblical Counseling.

I am doing that because I desire to serve God by serving others, and I know that the only way to do that the way God wants me to do it is by putting my trust not in secular psychology but in the Word of God.

Now to the original question:

Does God want you to esteem yourself high, or to esteem yourself low? Is it that simple, or is there more to it?

It seems to me that God does not want us to have high “self-esteem†or “low self-esteem†but a healthy confidence in who you are.

In order to gain a healthy confidence in who they are they should look to God’s word. Genesis 1:26-28 (New American Standard Bible) says the following:
Then God said, "Let Us make man in Our image, according to Our likeness; and let them rule over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the sky and over the cattle and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth."
God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them.
God blessed them; and God said to them, "Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth, and subdue it; and rule over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the sky and over every living thing that moves on the earth."

So what can we glean from that? It seems apparent to me that those particular verses say that we are image bears of God. It also tells us that we are above the creatures of the world and we are to rule over them. In fact we are told to subdue all the creatures on the earth.

As Christians we also learn, from the New Testament, that we are to be bears of Christ and we are to “make disciples of all the nations (Matthew 28:19).â€Â

Perhaps some insightful words from Charles H. Spurgeon may help as well:

“It is not humility to underrate yourself. Humility is to think of yourself as God things of you. It is to feel that if we have talents, God has given to us. And let it be seen that, like freight in a vessel, they tend to sink us low. The more we have, the lower we ought to live.â€Â

‘“I imagine there may be some of you read to say, “Sir, I am nothing.†Then I shall reply, “You are a young Christian.†There will be others of you who will say, “Sir, I am less than nothing.†And I shall say, “You are an old Christian,†for the older Christians get, the less they become in their own esteem.â€Â’

Source: Both quotes from 22,200 Quotations from the Writings of Charles H. Spurgeon pages 103 and 104.

The last quote I think puts it well. One should not have â€Åselfâ€Â-esteem at all. What one should have is a healthy confidence in who they are. Again, according to Scripture we are image bears of God and also Christ bears. Our esteem should be in God not ourselves.

 

[paisley]

I think God wants us to not be so focused on ourselves but more focused on Him and those around us. In doing so, we will walk confidently in knowing we have the love and power of God on our side. When we know we are a child of THE KING, we walk confidently. When we are focused on how we look, what we can/can not do, our power and position in life, etc. these things either give us a low self esteem meaning we are not appreciating what God has given us, or we have a high self esteem meaning we are puffing ourselves up so big and high that we don't give God enough credit. The Bible talks all about praising God, not praising and focusing on ourselves. The only scripture I can think of that talks about praising ourselves is in Proverbs, I think, and it says that we should let others praise us. We should not be praising ourselves. God loves humble people and says He hates the proud. I think "high self esteem" runs dangerously close to pride.

 

[Spirit Driven]

How about a definition of self-esteem?

The first part of Wikipedia’s article on Self-esteem states the following:

“In psychology, self-esteem or self-worth includes a person's subjective appraisal of himself or herself as intrinsically positive or negative to some degree.â€Â

Source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Self-esteem

Continue reading to get a better picture of how to define self-esteem but essentially you are more then likely going to learn that “self-esteem†is nothing more then an over inflated emphasis on oneself. The reality is that for the most part secular psychology (which is where the term comes from) puts way to much emphasis on the self.

This semester at Southeastern Baptist Theological Seminary I am taking a class called “Counseling Theory,†and basically what I am doing in this class is reading a book that explores the various secular counseling theories out thereâ€â€such as Psychoanalytic Theory, Adlerian Therapy, Existential Therapy, Personal-Centered Therapy just to name a few.

So far, and the semester is half over, I have pretty much learned that all of these theories have an over emphasis on self. Now if one where to contrast that with how the Bible views man, which is being done in the class I am taking, they would find how off base such an emphasis is.

Perhaps this is odd coming from me, perhaps it is notâ€â€considering I got my undergrad in Psychology. But after my first semester at Southeastern Baptist Theological Seminary and the classes that followed I have come to reject secular psychology. My trust and confidence is in the Word of God alone, and not in the theories of men. For that reason I am pursuing a Masters of Divinity with Biblical Counseling.

I am doing that because I desire to serve God by serving others, and I know that the only way to do that the way God wants me to do it is by putting my trust not in secular psychology but in the Word of God.

Now to the original question:

[quote="Dave...":622df]Does God want you to esteem yourself high, or to esteem yourself low? Is it that simple, or is there more to it?

It seems to me that God does not want us to have high “self-esteem†or “low self-esteem†but a healthy confidence in who you are.

In order to gain a healthy confidence in who they are they should look to God’s word. Genesis 1:26-28 (New American Standard Bible) says the following:
Then God said, "Let Us make man in Our image, according to Our likeness; and let them rule over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the sky and over the cattle and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth."
God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them.
God blessed them; and God said to them, "Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth, and subdue it; and rule over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the sky and over every living thing that moves on the earth."

So what can we glean from that? It seems apparent to me that those particular verses say that we are image bears of God. It also tells us that we are above the creatures of the world and we are to rule over them. In fact we are told to subdue all the creatures on the earth.

As Christians we also learn, from the New Testament, that we are to be bears of Christ and we are to “make disciples of all the nations (Matthew 28:19).â€Â

Perhaps some insightful words from Charles H. Spurgeon may help as well:

“It is not humility to underrate yourself. Humility is to think of yourself as God things of you. It is to feel that if we have talents, God has given to us. And let it be seen that, like freight in a vessel, they tend to sink us low. The more we have, the lower we ought to live.â€Â

‘“I imagine there may be some of you read to say, “Sir, I am nothing.†Then I shall reply, “You are a young Christian.†There will be others of you who will say, “Sir, I am less than nothing.†And I shall say, “You are an old Christian,†for the older Christians get, the less they become in their own esteem.â€Â’

Source: Both quotes from 22,200 Quotations from the Writings of Charles H. Spurgeon pages 103 and 104.

The last quote I think puts it well. One should not have “selfâ€Â-esteem at all. What one should have is a healthy confidence in who they are. Again, according to Scripture we are image bears of God and also Christ bears. Our esteem should be in God not ourselves.[/quote:622df]

Yes indeed..... like I said before..... become Holy.


Grace and Peace to you

 

[Spirit Driven]

I think God wants us to not be so focused on ourselves but more focused on Him and those around us. In doing so, we will walk confidently in knowing we have the love and power of God on our side. When we know we are a child of THE KING, we walk confidently. When we are focused on how we look, what we can/can not do, our power and position in life, etc. these things either give us a low self esteem meaning we are not appreciating what God has given us, or we have a high self esteem meaning we are puffing ourselves up so big and high that we don't give God enough credit. The Bible talks all about praising God, not praising and focusing on ourselves. The only scripture I can think of that talks about praising ourselves is in Proverbs, I think, and it says that we should let others praise us. We should not be praising ourselves. God loves humble people and says He hates the proud. I think "high self esteem" runs dangerously close to pride.

Oh yes...... like I said..... become Holy

Grace and Peace to you

 

[John the Baptist]

I'd say no self-esteem at all, honestly.

Adam and Eve in Genesis were the first to be self-aware. Genesis 3:7 Not such a great thing, really.

Jesus doesn't ask us to do one thing in our self, but to cast all our cares upon Him. He was meek, and lowly, and He expects us to follow Him in self denial.

Matthew 11:28
28 Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.
29 Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls.
30 For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.

Matthew 6:24
24 Then said Jesus unto his disciples, If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow me.
25 For whosoever will save his life shall lose it: and whosoever will lose his life for my sake shall find it.

Luke 14:26 If any man come to me, and hate not his father, and mother, and wife, and children, and brethren, and sisters, yea, and his own life also, he cannot be my disciple.

Consider the self esteem of the Pharisees, and the motive of heart that it is born out of.
John 12:43 For they loved the praise of men more than the praise of God.

How do we love ourselves already?

Ephesians 5:29-30
29 For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church:
30 For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones.

But this is the truth about us...

Jeremiah 17:9 The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it?

Isaiah 64:6 But we are all as an unclean thing, and all our righteousnesses are as filthy rags; and we all do fade as a leaf; and our iniquities, like the wind, have taken us away.

Ephesians 2:3 Among whom also we all had our conversation in times past in the lusts of our flesh, fulfilling the desires of the flesh and of the mind; and were by nature the children of wrath, even as others.


I prefer this to self-esteem anyday...

2 Corinthians 3:18
18 But we all, with open face beholding as in a glass the glory of the Lord, are changed into the same image from glory to glory, even as by the Spirit of the Lord.

and this...

Matthew 5:3 Blessed are the poor in spirit: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

Ephesians 3:16 That he would grant you, according to the riches of his glory, to be strengthened with might by his Spirit in the inner man;

Believers need to avoid this...

Jeremiah 2:11 Hath a nation changed their gods, which are yet no gods? but my people have changed their glory for that which doth not profit.

I think self-esteem low, or high, can be equated with self-righteousness. It is born from a humanistic religion called psychology that is "self" focused. God does not want us to love the world, or mix it's teachings with His, but to abide in Him alone...self-esteem isn't even an issue when our eyes remain fixed on Him, and serving Him, and His purpose. We are to love Him with all, and then others as ourselves...esteeming others before ourselves. Christ did this.

1 John 2:15-17

15 Love not the world, neither the things that are in the world. If any man love the world, the love of the Father is not in him.
16 For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the Father, but is of the world.
17 And the world passeth away, and the lust thereof: but he that doeth the will of God abideth for ever.

Notice my signature...the world will hate us as they hated him, but our joy, and strength, are in Him alone...not what the world thinks of us, or even what we think of ourselves. The Lord bless all of you.

******

Hi, John here:
Thanks for the 'Food'! :
'i' agree.

Yet, only the Godhead know what the worth of a soul is by making such a huge Sacrifice for it! (some were of high self esteem as in Psalm 69:20-25 :robot: ) Not just our wonderful Lord & Savior, but God the Father as well, along with the Holy Spirit, who all shared in this 'Loving required' Grief. : And how about the unfallen angels & the other worlds?!

 

[Poke]

When someone starts talking about the importance of self-esteem, I generally want to leave the room. Self-esteem implies a focus on yourself that a Christian shouldn't have. When people talk about self-esteem, they usually mean to become prideful and calloused to your own wickedness. The rationalize that personal problems are a result of low self-esteem.

Lucifer's downfall was a high self-esteem. People with high "self-esteem" are arrogant and psychotic.

Low self-esteem is also caused by a focus on yourself that Christians shouldn't have. Depression, when not a caused by a chemical imbalance, is caused by a focus on yourself.

 

[golfjack]

reply

I have a hard time understanding why Christians want to have low self-esteem. The Bible calls us pecular people. That means God's private property, and makes me feel good about myself. Some busy themselves by striving to be holy, when the Bible calls holy, priestly kingly, righteous, and the head and not the tail, just to name a few. I don't know about some, but that makes me feel good about myself. Some will say, I am not worthy to receive the things of God, and go to the throne of God whimpering, I am not worthy. We are worthy, and should always go boldly to the throne of grace and mercy and demand our rights as believers.

When I was a child growing up, I did have low self-esteem for many years, which caused me to be hospitalized for depression a few times. I did have a low opinion of myself. I was taught always to please people regardless of what I thought of myself. My Mother told me, I will amount to nothing in life. She verbally and physically abused me, and brought on condemnation, which the Catholic Chuurch taught. She taught that I was never good at anything. Are we sometimes to heavenly that we are no earthly good? I believe we should go through life thinking how God looks at us, and not what others think of us. We are to love others as ourselves.What about the ourselves part. We are to forgive others as we forgive ourselves. What about the ourselves part. We do aim to please God, but did you know that we are pleasing to God when we are born again. If we look at ourselves, as God sees us, we will be able to please God more than if we look at ourselves as low lives.

Therefore, I am not going to tell God I am a failure, but tell Him, I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.


May God bless, golfjack

 

[carey]

?????

How can one be humble as the Bible commands without first having confidence??

If you have no confidence you cant humble yourself from something you dont possess,can you??

 

[Dave...]

Hi Jack

I have had depression my whole life. I have never put much hope in other people or the things of the world, even myself as a result of my depression. It sounds like you are in/were in the same boat. Consider those things a head start in your walk as a Christian. Those are all good things under the context of the teaching of the Gospel. In a lot of ways my depression has helped me in my growth in our Lord.

I think of Paul who was given a thorn in the flesh to keep him humble, causing great depression, i'm sure. The more "confidence" we put in God, the less we put in ourselves, and the more he can use us. The more humble we are, the more He can trust us with greater works.

To everyone...How do we deal with this verse...

Matthew 22:39 ...‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ 40 On these two commandments hang all the Law and the Prophets.â€Â

We also have this...

Matthew 23:11 But he who is greatest among you shall be your servant. 12 And whoever exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted.

Jeremiah 17:9-10--"The heart is more deceitful than all else and is desperately sick; who can understand it? I, the Lord, search the heart, I test the mind."

So we only trust in God's Word.

High self esteem in the world of the new Psychology seeks to eliminates the guilt of our conscience that results from sin, I think we can all agree that this is definitely wrong, right? Unfortunately, this is exactly what many modern preachers teach when they exclude from their preaching anything that may offend, like preaching on sin.

I have always appreciated this prayer and thought it was a very profound understanding of what it means to be a Christian...

"Lord, high and low, meek and lowly, let me learn by paradox that the way down is the way up, that to be low is to be high, that the broken heart is the healed heart, that the contrite spirit is the rejoicing spirit, that the repenting soul is the victorious soul, that to have nothing is to possess everything, that to bear the cross is to wear the crown, that to give is to receive. Let me find thy light in my darkness, thy joy in my sorrow, thy grace in my sin, thy riches in my poverty, thy glory in my valley, thy life in my death." (unknown Puritan)

"if anyone desires to come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow Me. For whoever desires to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake will find it." (Matt. 16:24-25)

Peace

 

[Dave...]

How can one be humble as the Bible commands without first having confidence??

It probably depends on who we put our confidence in, ourselves or Jesus. I think we can be humble while at the same time having a unmovable confidence in God.

 

[Vic C.]

Re: reply

... When I was a child growing up, I did have low self-esteem for many years, which caused me to be hospitalized for depression a few times. I did have a low opinion of myself. I was taught always to please people regardless of what I thought of myself. My Mother told me, I will amount to nothing in life. She verbally and physically abused me, and brought on condemnation, which the Catholic Chuurch taught. She taught that I was never good at anything. Are we sometimes to heavenly that we are no earthly good? I believe we should go through life thinking how God looks at us, and not what others think of us. We are to love others as ourselves.What about the ourselves part. We are to forgive others as we forgive ourselves. What about the ourselves part....

... May God bless, golfjack

Mat 22:37 Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind.
Mat 22:38 This is the first and great commandment.
Mat 22:39 And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.
Mat 22:40 On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets.

Great points golfjack. I have witnessed the effects of low esteem firsthand and witnessed some of the things you mentioned above, as it happened to a sibbling.

We cannot love our neighbours if we first don't love ourselves. If we look down upon ourselves, that will effect how we treat others. Lack of self respect has a serious domino effect.

Dave... I was typing as you were posting. I see we don't have a similar view on this.

 

[John the Baptist]

Re: reply

I have a hard time understanding why Christians want to have low self-esteem. The Bible calls us pecular people. That means God's private property, and makes me feel good about myself. Some busy themselves by striving to be holy, when the Bible calls holy, priestly kingly, righteous, and the head and not the tail, just to name a few. I don't know about some, but that makes me feel good about myself. Some will say, I am not worthy to receive the things of God, and go to the throne of God whimpering, I am not worthy. We are worthy, and should always go boldly to the throne of grace and mercy and demand our rights as believers.

When I was a child growing up, I did have low self-esteem for many years, which caused me to be hospitalized for depression a few times. I did have a low opinion of myself. I was taught always to please people regardless of what I thought of myself. My Mother told me, I will amount to nothing in life. She verbally and physically abused me, and brought on condemnation, which the Catholic Chuurch taught. She taught that I was never good at anything. Are we sometimes to heavenly that we are no earthly good? I believe we should go through life thinking how God looks at us, and not what others think of us. We are to love others as ourselves.What about the ourselves part. We are to forgive others as we forgive ourselves. What about the ourselves part. We do aim to please God, but did you know that we are pleasing to God when we are born again. If we look at ourselves, as God sees us, we will be able to please God more than if we look at ourselves as low lives.

Therefore, I am not going to tell God I am a failure, but tell Him, I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.


May God bless, golfjack

**
There is a differance, huh? Yet, I see way to much Titus 3:9-11 around.
--John