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Eph. 6:1 Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 2"Honor your father and mother," which is the first commandment with promise: 3"that it may be well with you and you may live long on the earth."[1]
4And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord.
Many fathers might consider verse 1 to be the most important part of this admonition. However Verse 2 is connected to the promise of verse 3, therefore "Honor" is more important than "obey." The reason is that when a child is small you can force obedience, but when a child gets older, obedience will only come if honor has been established. So, how does a father establish honor in the mind of his children?
HONOR" = To prize, to fix a high value upon, to revere. You cannot demand it or force it. You must by the life you live earn it.
To start out we ourselves must honor authority in every aspect of life. These include, The work place, Your mate, The law and the government, and The church. As the man of God we must establish, Integrity, Self control, Fidelity. Not the type that the world offers, but the extra mile type that God calls for.
By integrity we need to hold firm to a set of values that are based on the word of God. These are men who do not compromise with truth and instead lie or use trickery or deceit to get their needs They are open to all and are trustworthy. We often blast the used car salesman for not disclosing all the problems of the car we are looking at and then do the same thing when we trade in our own car.
In self control we are able to control the tongue first and in doing so will be able to control the rest of their lives. It is not enough to not punch someone out and then rip them to shreds with our tongue. This includes not being backbiters and gossips. We need to look for the qualities in others that lifts them up and where they may be weak willing to carry them and not cut them down. We need to learn to control ourselves in everything, putting others before ourselves even to our own lose if necessary.
By fidelity we need to be ever so sure that our life is a faithful one first to the Lord and then to all that we are responsible to. While we may be men who are husbands of one wife, we also need to be men who are a one woman man. The local or distance waitress is not addressed by us as honey or sweetheart or any other term that should be for our wife alone. We are to be one woman men and our wife is to be the apple of our eye. We live our lives not only before them but for them and in doing so honoring our Lord. It is not enough to be willing to die for them, but we must take it to greater lengths, we must live for them giving up our lives for them as Christ gave up His for the church. Then and only then if we do these things can our children willingly honor us and the Lord.
However we must keep in mind that even in all this just living honorably will not guarantee honor returned from our children. It is not enough to just live our lives in a God honoring way before our children, we must also require that they hold those things we live in high regard in their own lives and thus honor will be returned to us as it is to God when we see Him for who He is and live our lives accordingly. I know of a many a mothers and fathers who have had high standards and yet never taught their children the need for them in their own lives. This brings distruction to all concerned.
Ephesians 6:4
"And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord."
Men we have a high calling and one that cannot be taken lightly nor expected to come to fruition on its own. Not only are we to live our lives brfore our children to have a pattern, but in those younger years we must demand that they set their minds and hearts on the same so that as they grow older it is a natural choice for them to live by. We must set the example and then demand with love and encouragement that they too develop into the men and women of God.
The word in Eph that is translated "provoke" is the Greek word parorgizo (par-org-id'-zo)
KJV-- anger, provoke to wrath.
a. NOTE: This is a compound Greek word.
b. PREFIX: "Para" = To come along side.
c. SUFFIX: "Orgizo" = To provoke or enrage, To cause to become exasperated.
So the question is how do fathers provoke?
a. ANSWER: By being just plain mean. Always finding fault. Never giving commendation, but always condemnation.
b. ANSWER: By being abusive. Ready to strike that blow with the rod or tongue. Kindness in the mist of error many times goes further then harsh discipline.
c. ANSWER: Senseless rules.making things impossible or near impossible to accomplish or making rules that have no resonable worth. This causes any sense of joy in completing the task as being ones own choice and joy on completion for accomplishment of what is required. Also rules that have no real reason other then they just fit our agenda.
d. ANSWER: Senseless discipline. This is most important. When we make every infraction a need for discipline or criticism then we teach them that there is no place for, mercy or just doing something different. We need to be ever so careful that we learn to distinguish between rebellion, failure, or motavation that brings a different and better way. The first certainly does need discipline, but the later needs coming along side with encouragement and even praise to keep discouragement from setting in too deeply.
The Next word in the text is "NURTURE" which is the Greek word "paideia (pahee-di'-ah) which means;
tutorage, i.e. education or training; by implication, disciplinary correction:
KJV-- chastening, chastisement, instruction, nurture.
NOTE: This involves far more than just "chastisement."
It carries the idea if the young person is to learn how to learn to live their life in the fullness of God they have to be trained. A big part of training our children is living our lives correctly, but unless we are willing to talk about ourselves openly and explain why we need to be so different then the world, all that they will learn is legalistic rules and actions. Also we men need to learn how to weep with and for our children, both in private and public. The expression of emotion is a tremondous influence in training our children and should not be something that we are ashamed of.
The next word is "ADMONITION" and the Greek comes from two other Greek words;
. FIRST: 3563 nous (nooce);
probably from the base of 1097; the intellect, i.e. mind (divine or human; in thought, feeling, or will); by implication meaning:
KJV-- mind, understanding. Compare 5590.
b. SECOND: 5087 tithemi (tith'-ay-mee);
a prolonged form of a primary theo (theh'-o) (which is used only as alternate in certain tenses); to place (in the widest application, literally and figuratively; properly, in a passive or horizontal posture, and thus different from 2476, which properly denotes an upright and active position, while 2749 is properly reflexive and utterly prostrate):
KJV-- + advise, appoint, bow, commit, conceive, give, X kneel down, lay (aside, down, up), make, ordain, purpose, put, set (forth), settle, sink down.
Paul is saying to us that our children's mind and intellect should be trained to lay down in submission to the will and purpose of God from a willfully and grateful heart. Not one of force and grudgementalism. This is done when they see the joy and hope that we as fathers have in surrendering our lives to God and the rewards we receive in joy and peace as well as the pleasure we receive in our fellowship with The Lord on a daily bases. This requires them seeing and experiencing us praying for them and with them. Letting them know that our heavenly Father is trusted by us enough to share our deepest thoughts and needs. Eager to forgive and quick to bless all who really trust Him. This means that we need to talk to our children and that they learn to talk to us in return. We have the responsibility of shaping those minds towards the Lord and it takes great effort on our part to do it.
Then we have the words "BRING THEM UP" which is the Greek word "ektrepho (ek-tref'-o) and this means;
to rear up to maturity, i.e. (genitive case) to cherish or train: KJV-- bring up, nourish; It comes from another Greek word (5142) which means to feed until fat.
You do not "fatten" something or someone by giving them only one meal each week. This comes by constantly talking about the Lord yet without becoming boring and preachy. We need to learn to use examples and different ways to same the same things over and over as well as bring new truth into their lives as they mature and always being open to listen to what they think about certain issues and if they hold an improper view we are to point them towards the correct understanding as the Lord would have us all hold.
Isa 28:10 For precept [must be] upon precept, precept upon precept; line upon line, line upon line; here a little, [and] there a little:
To be a godly father we first need to be a godly man and we do this by the life we live making our greatest task to establish in our children honor for their earthly father which will bring honor to their heavenly Father. This is only done when we live our lives in complete submission to the Lord and then leading and guiding our children to do the same. If we want our children to start the race and finish it without stopping someplace along the way then we need to get our lives in order and then we can shape theirs.
Pro 22:6 Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.
The above teaching was taken from an outline of a message written by Pastor John Stocker. I have refinded it by adding and subtracting certain parts of the outline putting them into my own words as best as I know how.
4And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord.
Many fathers might consider verse 1 to be the most important part of this admonition. However Verse 2 is connected to the promise of verse 3, therefore "Honor" is more important than "obey." The reason is that when a child is small you can force obedience, but when a child gets older, obedience will only come if honor has been established. So, how does a father establish honor in the mind of his children?
HONOR" = To prize, to fix a high value upon, to revere. You cannot demand it or force it. You must by the life you live earn it.
To start out we ourselves must honor authority in every aspect of life. These include, The work place, Your mate, The law and the government, and The church. As the man of God we must establish, Integrity, Self control, Fidelity. Not the type that the world offers, but the extra mile type that God calls for.
By integrity we need to hold firm to a set of values that are based on the word of God. These are men who do not compromise with truth and instead lie or use trickery or deceit to get their needs They are open to all and are trustworthy. We often blast the used car salesman for not disclosing all the problems of the car we are looking at and then do the same thing when we trade in our own car.
In self control we are able to control the tongue first and in doing so will be able to control the rest of their lives. It is not enough to not punch someone out and then rip them to shreds with our tongue. This includes not being backbiters and gossips. We need to look for the qualities in others that lifts them up and where they may be weak willing to carry them and not cut them down. We need to learn to control ourselves in everything, putting others before ourselves even to our own lose if necessary.
By fidelity we need to be ever so sure that our life is a faithful one first to the Lord and then to all that we are responsible to. While we may be men who are husbands of one wife, we also need to be men who are a one woman man. The local or distance waitress is not addressed by us as honey or sweetheart or any other term that should be for our wife alone. We are to be one woman men and our wife is to be the apple of our eye. We live our lives not only before them but for them and in doing so honoring our Lord. It is not enough to be willing to die for them, but we must take it to greater lengths, we must live for them giving up our lives for them as Christ gave up His for the church. Then and only then if we do these things can our children willingly honor us and the Lord.
However we must keep in mind that even in all this just living honorably will not guarantee honor returned from our children. It is not enough to just live our lives in a God honoring way before our children, we must also require that they hold those things we live in high regard in their own lives and thus honor will be returned to us as it is to God when we see Him for who He is and live our lives accordingly. I know of a many a mothers and fathers who have had high standards and yet never taught their children the need for them in their own lives. This brings distruction to all concerned.
Ephesians 6:4
"And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord."
Men we have a high calling and one that cannot be taken lightly nor expected to come to fruition on its own. Not only are we to live our lives brfore our children to have a pattern, but in those younger years we must demand that they set their minds and hearts on the same so that as they grow older it is a natural choice for them to live by. We must set the example and then demand with love and encouragement that they too develop into the men and women of God.
The word in Eph that is translated "provoke" is the Greek word parorgizo (par-org-id'-zo)
KJV-- anger, provoke to wrath.
a. NOTE: This is a compound Greek word.
b. PREFIX: "Para" = To come along side.
c. SUFFIX: "Orgizo" = To provoke or enrage, To cause to become exasperated.
So the question is how do fathers provoke?
a. ANSWER: By being just plain mean. Always finding fault. Never giving commendation, but always condemnation.
b. ANSWER: By being abusive. Ready to strike that blow with the rod or tongue. Kindness in the mist of error many times goes further then harsh discipline.
c. ANSWER: Senseless rules.making things impossible or near impossible to accomplish or making rules that have no resonable worth. This causes any sense of joy in completing the task as being ones own choice and joy on completion for accomplishment of what is required. Also rules that have no real reason other then they just fit our agenda.
d. ANSWER: Senseless discipline. This is most important. When we make every infraction a need for discipline or criticism then we teach them that there is no place for, mercy or just doing something different. We need to be ever so careful that we learn to distinguish between rebellion, failure, or motavation that brings a different and better way. The first certainly does need discipline, but the later needs coming along side with encouragement and even praise to keep discouragement from setting in too deeply.
The Next word in the text is "NURTURE" which is the Greek word "paideia (pahee-di'-ah) which means;
tutorage, i.e. education or training; by implication, disciplinary correction:
KJV-- chastening, chastisement, instruction, nurture.
NOTE: This involves far more than just "chastisement."
It carries the idea if the young person is to learn how to learn to live their life in the fullness of God they have to be trained. A big part of training our children is living our lives correctly, but unless we are willing to talk about ourselves openly and explain why we need to be so different then the world, all that they will learn is legalistic rules and actions. Also we men need to learn how to weep with and for our children, both in private and public. The expression of emotion is a tremondous influence in training our children and should not be something that we are ashamed of.
The next word is "ADMONITION" and the Greek comes from two other Greek words;
. FIRST: 3563 nous (nooce);
probably from the base of 1097; the intellect, i.e. mind (divine or human; in thought, feeling, or will); by implication meaning:
KJV-- mind, understanding. Compare 5590.
b. SECOND: 5087 tithemi (tith'-ay-mee);
a prolonged form of a primary theo (theh'-o) (which is used only as alternate in certain tenses); to place (in the widest application, literally and figuratively; properly, in a passive or horizontal posture, and thus different from 2476, which properly denotes an upright and active position, while 2749 is properly reflexive and utterly prostrate):
KJV-- + advise, appoint, bow, commit, conceive, give, X kneel down, lay (aside, down, up), make, ordain, purpose, put, set (forth), settle, sink down.
Paul is saying to us that our children's mind and intellect should be trained to lay down in submission to the will and purpose of God from a willfully and grateful heart. Not one of force and grudgementalism. This is done when they see the joy and hope that we as fathers have in surrendering our lives to God and the rewards we receive in joy and peace as well as the pleasure we receive in our fellowship with The Lord on a daily bases. This requires them seeing and experiencing us praying for them and with them. Letting them know that our heavenly Father is trusted by us enough to share our deepest thoughts and needs. Eager to forgive and quick to bless all who really trust Him. This means that we need to talk to our children and that they learn to talk to us in return. We have the responsibility of shaping those minds towards the Lord and it takes great effort on our part to do it.
Then we have the words "BRING THEM UP" which is the Greek word "ektrepho (ek-tref'-o) and this means;
to rear up to maturity, i.e. (genitive case) to cherish or train: KJV-- bring up, nourish; It comes from another Greek word (5142) which means to feed until fat.
You do not "fatten" something or someone by giving them only one meal each week. This comes by constantly talking about the Lord yet without becoming boring and preachy. We need to learn to use examples and different ways to same the same things over and over as well as bring new truth into their lives as they mature and always being open to listen to what they think about certain issues and if they hold an improper view we are to point them towards the correct understanding as the Lord would have us all hold.
Isa 28:10 For precept [must be] upon precept, precept upon precept; line upon line, line upon line; here a little, [and] there a little:
To be a godly father we first need to be a godly man and we do this by the life we live making our greatest task to establish in our children honor for their earthly father which will bring honor to their heavenly Father. This is only done when we live our lives in complete submission to the Lord and then leading and guiding our children to do the same. If we want our children to start the race and finish it without stopping someplace along the way then we need to get our lives in order and then we can shape theirs.
Pro 22:6 Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.
The above teaching was taken from an outline of a message written by Pastor John Stocker. I have refinded it by adding and subtracting certain parts of the outline putting them into my own words as best as I know how.