Lost Lamb,
May I suggest, since you have been such a help with your brother that you seek other employment in that area??? I'm sure there are other folks like your brother who need you expertise. I'm not sure how you worked with your brother, but maybe there is some sort of foster care license or special needs license you could get that would allow you to stay with your precious baby. Sometimes it can take awhile to get one of these licenses, so while you are waiting for your brother's birthday you could be preparing for another "client"???
Please don't think I am judging you when I tell you that your wonderful marriage could be in jeopardy if your husband becomes a bartender. I know I was one, and that environment is not good for a marriages. I know you and your husband feel that nothing could tear you apart, but the devil is so prevalent where there is drinking, and he is so seductive. :verysad
I know, that I know, that I know, I am absolutely certain He will not abandon your family. Sometimes He takes us to the very edge of the cliff to increase our faith, to show you He is your rock.
Each of us has to struggle to follow Christ and our lives will not always be easy. But I want you to know Jesus knows exactly what you are going through. He was a human and He is God. A human Jesus, a struggling Jesus, helps us to face life head on and not to turn away from being uncomfortable. That’s why we must do what Jesus did, follow His example. When you have those times of struggle, get alone with him, fall to the ground, pour out your heart to Him. He may not take the pain away, but He will strengthen you for it, like He did Jesus. Let Him do His work, don’t try to do it for Him.
It always puzzeled me when I would read about when Jesus was on the cross dieing and God turned away, Jesus cried out to God, “why have you forsaken me.†I couldn't figure out what was happening? Why would God abandoned Him?
I think that Jesus became a man to experience all things man experiences. I believe when He was tempted in every single thing man is tempted with, including overeating, lying, cheating, even homosexuality, and pedophilia. Just because you are tempted does not mean it is a sin, it’s the second thought that makes it a sin. And even though Jesus is God, I believe it was the plan that He would not know all things. I believe He had to learn through the Word what His role was, just like we do. I believe He had perfect understanding of the Bible, but I don’t believe he automatically knew all things. I come to this conclusion because Jesus Himself said He was not all knowing, when He said in Mark 13:32 “But of that day and hour no one knows, not even the angels in heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father.
So when He cried out, God why have you forsaken me, I don’t believe God had really forsaken Him, I believe Jesus felt forsaken, just as sometimes we feel forsaken when we are waiting for God to do something and He doesn’t show up when we expect Him to. Jesus was waiting to die, and felt betrayed when He had to wait for an answer.
He knows exactly how you feel, He has experienced it to the maximum degree. Fall on your face before Him when you are in a struggle, trust Him, it will not always be easy, but if you follow God’s will it will be best for you and your family. Give Him all He asks, die to self, be a living sacrifice. Die to ego, Die to desires, die to phobias, die worry. Fall on Him, and He will catch you... Trust.
Love, Kelli
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