I'm new here so I apologize for any misplaced thread or whatever, I just honestly don't know what to do anymore and thought this place was how to get real answers.
First of all my faith is facing quite few challenges. I try to grow my relation with Jesus but both sin and doubts keep me away from evolving.
An example of doubt is what I usually think at night, mostly with questions of "Is God really real or am I imagining myself ideas to keep up my life" because yes I have for several years this hesitation to kill myself or stay alive, which is mostly solved by this reminder that when killing myself I'm sinning and not even sure I'm going to be accepted by Christ for not "trusting".
The question is how to evolve and keep my life in order. I try to be a game developer and I see many people rejecting Christ completely having on social media tons of comments and subscribers, or game developers making s*x games promoting sinful activities and making on Patreon more than 20K a month while me I barely even get a single player even though I'm trying to ask God for these things and keep making games, updates, sharing posts etc on tons of projects at the same time. People get recognition with their first game because of "luck" or I don't know like a famous Youtuber playing it, while me, nothing.
This is messed up, I try to make progress in my life with Christ and in my passion to somehow help my parents with what I love creating and I only get challenges, while people blaspheming Jesus by portraying sinful activities in Churches, rejecting him completely get more than I could hope for in a year.
I always try to stay away from making lust and s*x games as they are, well obviously sinful and I'm sure Jesus wouldn't want that, but why people making these get tons of blessings and me, who try to avoid these, get nothing. I don't want to fall one day for this and start making these lusty games attracting tons of people simply because nothing was working. I just don't understand
First of all my faith is facing quite few challenges. I try to grow my relation with Jesus but both sin and doubts keep me away from evolving.
An example of doubt is what I usually think at night, mostly with questions of "Is God really real or am I imagining myself ideas to keep up my life" because yes I have for several years this hesitation to kill myself or stay alive, which is mostly solved by this reminder that when killing myself I'm sinning and not even sure I'm going to be accepted by Christ for not "trusting".
The question is how to evolve and keep my life in order. I try to be a game developer and I see many people rejecting Christ completely having on social media tons of comments and subscribers, or game developers making s*x games promoting sinful activities and making on Patreon more than 20K a month while me I barely even get a single player even though I'm trying to ask God for these things and keep making games, updates, sharing posts etc on tons of projects at the same time. People get recognition with their first game because of "luck" or I don't know like a famous Youtuber playing it, while me, nothing.
This is messed up, I try to make progress in my life with Christ and in my passion to somehow help my parents with what I love creating and I only get challenges, while people blaspheming Jesus by portraying sinful activities in Churches, rejecting him completely get more than I could hope for in a year.
I always try to stay away from making lust and s*x games as they are, well obviously sinful and I'm sure Jesus wouldn't want that, but why people making these get tons of blessings and me, who try to avoid these, get nothing. I don't want to fall one day for this and start making these lusty games attracting tons of people simply because nothing was working. I just don't understand