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I have a lot to thank God for. I have mental illness (either severe bipolar disorder or a psychotic disorder, depending on which shrink you choose to believe). I used to have a drug problem. I used to live in a town where I was *the* outcast--just about everybody who knew me/knew of me talked about me.

That's all changed. I moved to a whole new town, I'm properly medicated (I only take 1 medication, so I'm no longer a pill head, either), and I even have a Christian therapist. God saved me from some legal problems I had gotten myself into because of my mental problems before becoming a Christian.

So, I have a lot to be thankful for. I still have a long ways to go, though. I still don't have a job. I'm lucky, because my parents are able and willing to support me while I look for work and then go back to school (the state I'm living in now offers grants to residents to go back to school--I'll qualify next year).

I can't bring myself to get to church. God has done so much for me, but the thought that I'll go to church and someone will ask "Well, what do you do?" and I'll have to say "I'm 26, unemployed, and mentally ill" gets in the way. Plus, I'm so used to being the object of scorn and ridicule that now that I'm not...I still expect it to come my way. Know what I mean? Like, it used to be that people I worked with would avoid me in public. People I knew from college and high school would talk about me in bars and out in public. I used to be prematurely aged and burned out looking, in addition to being obviously mentally ill (God fixed that, too, which is nothing short of miraculous--I now look like a normal, healthy 26 year old).

So, please pray for me. Pray that I can seize the opportunities that God has given me and that I can build a good life for myself, one in which the memories of the past won't haunt me forever in the present.

Thanks.
 
I'm so glad to see your post, CE. I have a friend who's daughter is bipolar. She's about 22, and just when you think she's on the right road, she stops taking her medications and winds up in the hospital. It happened again last week. :sad I was just telling my wife, aside from God performing a miracle, my friend and his wife might be dealing with their daughter's illness for the rest of there lives. If He doesn't cure her of this condition, I pray He strengthens her resolve to never forget what she needs to stay on a steady state.

You give me hope though, because it sounds like you have it. :) It really seems like you needed that change of "everything" in your life. Starting a new life where maybe you could put aside your baggage and meet new people who will know only the 'new you"; people without preconceived judgment - that's a good thing.

I don't think you need to go into any details. If someone asks, you just say your newer in town and are considering your options. IMO, you don't need to be tethered to your past. Many people take time off between high school and college. That's just what you did as far as anyone needs to know. You need to remember it yourself, lest you forget that you need to stay on top of it, but it doesn't need to define you. If the first thing out of your mouth is "I'm 26 and mentally ill", it does sound like that's how you define yourself.

You said that you thank God and also asked us to pray for you, but "God" can mean many things to many people. I just hope you depend on, rely on and place your faith in the One True Triune God Who will protect you and guide you through your new life. He is the One Who will cleanse you of any shame or self-consciousness you feel. Blessings in the Name of Jesus. I'll pray for you, and I thank you for sharing your praise report along with your prayer petition!

Mike
 
Thanks for your helpful post. It was just what I needed--a dose a realistic optimism mixed with a "keep your eyes fixed on Christ" message.

I am a relatively orthodox Christian, currently leaning towards Calvinism. You're right, though--in today's post-modern society, "God" can mean pretty much whatever self-serving stuff the individual wants "God" to mean.

I'm glad I moved, and I'm thankful to God for all that He has done is doing on my behalf. I'm also trying to get to the point where I love God because He is God--not because of what He has done and/or is doing for me. That's a pretty tall order (for me at least), so we'll see how I go in developing that sort of love for God.

Bipolar Disorder/Schizophrenia (the two actually overlap a good bit) can be quite difficult to deal with. My experience was that often mental health "professionals" make things worse...one has to be careful about whom one sees as a doctor or therapist, and one also has to watch what medication(s) are prescribed.

I'm sorry about your friends' daughter. I'll pray for her and her family. I'm lucky to have only been hospitalized twice in my life. Each hospitalization was expensive, degrading, and ultimately nearly worthless in terms of long-term improvement. Does she understand that she's not as able to function w/o meds as other people who don't have her diagnosis?

Anyway, thanks again for your post+prayers.
 
I am glad you became Christian and are improving your life. Trust that God will not let the memories of your past haunt you. Continue to praise Him!
Heavenly father, I pray that he will use discernment in his future endeavors, that he will stay close to you and not let go. Help him to have strength and knowledge to seize the opportunities you lay before him. Plant good people in his life so that he can have healthy relationships. Bless him to have more confidence and know that he is your child, fearfully and wonderfully made. Amen

Remember that no one at church is going to look down on you for any of the things you just listed. Being around other Christians is only going to help you on your walk. God Bless
 

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Total amount
$1,592.00
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