[__ Prayer __] Pray for me Please.

[Dusty92]

My whole life I've been a Pastor's kid and I've seen my share of mental breakdowns and people that have gotten physically hurt.
But until today I have never really sat down to think about what I purpose in live is, I thought it was to try to live my life for God and try to witness to people who need to be saved from the punishment for sin. Most of my 17 years of my life I thought that way. Then something came to mind afew minutes ago that said, "Maybe I have no purpose here, what if no one really knows why we are here and just made a book, "The Bible" to try to keep everyone in order and keep from having a MASSIVE terror reign. " Don't tell me how tons of different people contributed a story that matched. I REALLY DON'T CARE!

In my church I see the MOST HYPOCRITICAL, most selfish people, turn into good little boys and girls for one hour a week! I'm sick of feeling like I have to play nice to everyone just because the bible told me to!
I remember when I was young and asking the Lord Jesus Christ into my heart, I will never forget that feeling I had. BUT 8 years later I FEEL NONE OF THAT LOVE!!

Someone at school started going off about how my religion is wrong but what if everyones religion is wrong?

I really want to feel that love again but I am afraid it has left to never return.
All I'm asking is for people to pray, and help me find that love again.

 

[Carol Lowery]

WOW Dusty........been there a couple of times myself......I know your dismay. So here's my public confession. Just today I sat on the side of my bed thinking/feeling/praying with all my heart that I was being harden around my heart, and felt like some of my love had fell away somehow from my whole being. I instantly started asking for forgiveness of everything and anything I could possibly think of....and some that I may have not thought of. All day something came to mind to ask for forgiveness for. May be little to someone else, but for me they were big, and some I thought to be little, were actually big to God. I felt scared, scared enough not to be able to handle the pain in my heart. Scare enough of not wanting to die at that moment with all that on me. Then I realized, my pain, and my hardening of my heart was my sin Dusty. This may not be the case for you, but for me it was.

Some were just private reactions to what someone may have said that were judgemental without thought. Or my reaction to something that aggitated me, and look back and ask myself, where was Christ in that, and in all honesty couldn't see HIM in it. All I seen was ME!!! ME!!! ME!!! ME!!! handleing this or that without Christ being involved in those decisions. In other words, I found myself to be just a big mess, and having to ask myself "What can I do" and myself answered back saying look at the mess you've made, now take it to Jesus...right now....confess it...admitt it....surrender it into the hands of the ONE that gives you forgiveness, and stop trying in my own strength.

So today has been a very tearful day for me, facing my sins is very painful....so painful to my soul. So painful to bear a pain realizing my sins are against my Savior and what HE stands for. Asking for forgiveness for being prideful, and feeling like I let HIM down, I let myself down as a Child of the Most High King. But I decided to take the devil by the horns and cast him behind me in the name of Jesus, and be more attentive to what HE requires from me, not what I require for me. Realizing my mistakes [known/unkown] is a real eye opener, and painful to my heart. But I would rather suffer this pain, cause it's just a drop in the bucket compared to the pain I've cause my Saviors heart, and just surrender myself to Jesus, and be what HE alone requires of me, cause my way was the hell way Dusty. And I'm thankful that I have a loving Savior that didn't spare the rod of correction upon my spirit in disciplining me when needed.

So now I feel like a tearful/crying baby who got to big for my britches, and got the smack down from my Heavenly Father, and I thank HIM for loving me that much to do it....cause I sure did deserve it. But here's the thing, HE loved me enough to snatch me up and say Child you are out of line....here are your wrongs against ME, repent child, repent what you ask for forgiveness for. All I could do was weep in HIS forgiveness, be so very thankful, and learn from it, and press on in HIS name to avoid those same snares of the devil.

I look at it this way Dusty, when I don't hear from God, and don't recieve the Rod of Correction in HIS love....then Houston there's a problem....a bigger problem than what I've had to admitt, confess, take responsibility for, and ask for forgiveness for.....some of the same things you've mentioned Dusty. It's not about religion, it's about my personal relationship with Jesus, and did I want to continue not liking myself much....just couldn't bear it anymore.

So lets keep each other and others in prayer, and press on in HIS name to bring HIM glory in our relationships with HIM. And thank you Dusty for bringing some things to mind that I needed to ask forgiveness for as our Savior has me on the potter's wheel. GBU......