U
UnderHisWings
Guest
Hi, I'm a college student and I wrote this for my English class. I know it's kind of long, :0/ but Christian parents were my intended audience so I wanted to put this somewhere where I could get their opinions. (You can reply if your not a parent too,) I'd love to hear whatever!
“Dumb Daddiesâ€Â
The Media’s Negative Portrayal of the Father
Desperate for a break from all the studying, I’m watching football with my roommate. Between quarters a commercial comes on depicting a mother and father presenting their two teenage daughters with a cell phone. The father excitedly states “now you can call us more!†to which both the girls exchange looks of dismay. The mother retaliates “and you can call your friends more!†to which they thankfully embrace her. The father uncouthly spurts out “group hug†when after he clumsily tries to hug his daughters. They evade him by hurriedly walking away with their mother, leaving him awkwardly standing alone in his lumbering ignorance. “Ick!†I manifested, lying on the floor. “What’s wrong?†my roommate Laura questioned, gazing down at me with surprise at my sudden outburst. I knew my conscience was finding its way to the soap box, but there was no way now to stop my disgust from being vented. “I can’t stand how on TV and in so many movies fathers are portrayed as bumbling idiots that their wives and children have to rise above!â€Â
It seems like I can’t watch a TV show or movie these days, especially those focused towards young people or children, without seeing fathers who are rude, childish buffoons who have no control over their lives, homes, or children. I’m sick of seeing fathers who are not regarded respectfully, don’t hold to any perceived values, and are pathetic in their powerlessness to enforce their wishes. This is not how I want the father role to be viewed by my and younger generations. Growing up in a loving, Godly home my father’s respect was demanded of me. At the time I couldn’t always see a lot of the wisdom in his rules or discipline but looking back I have a lot of “aha†moments, and “so that’s why he did that†realizations. Now as a college student, no longer a child living with my family, but not quite mature enough to start my own, I’m able to take a step back and analyze this issue from an objective stand point. I’m not a parent nor am I a child; connected to both, but not close enough to be fiercely associated with either role. The second of seven children, I value the family and believe that the father’s Biblically defined role isn’t something that should be compromised or taken lightly. My respect for that role, and for my own father, compels me to assess this dissonance I feel. If the media is constantly minimalizing and forsaking the traditional family, with the father revered as head of the household, what type of effect will it have on its audience? It is my belief that the media’s negative depiction of the father, by way of TV, movies, and advertising, will gradually eat away at child and teen viewers respect of their own fathers.
Maybe you have never considered or recognized Hollywood’s seemingly recent trend of “dumb daddies†focused in our movies, TV shows, and even commercials. Robert Rivera, in his 2000 Citizen article “Daddy (not quite) Dearest†writes: “the most telling aspects about a culture are those which merit no comment-aspects people assume to be unremarkable.†Why is it that we don’t even think twice after watching shows where fathers manipulate their children, seek only their self-interest, behave like idiotic morons, or fail to lead by example? Have we come to accept this as the norm, unconsciously desensitized to the media’s lack of positive models?
Go to Blockbuster, close your eyes, and pick up a movie; Wade Horn, president of the National Fatherhood Initiative in Gaithersburg, MD said that “If you were to choose a movie at random, among all of them released, probably you’d pick a movie with no father. That might be because there are a lot of movies that don’t focus on family situations. But even if you picked a movie where there was a family, chances are there wouldn’t be a father. And if there was a father, you’d probably find [him] negatively portrayed.†Think Disney’s The Little Mermaid, Beauty and the Beast, or Aladdin; animated films most every American child’s grown up loving. Although these movies are all highly recommendable for the truths they illustrate, look deeper, and you might sense an overhanging gloom: the inept father. In The Little Mermaid King Trident loves his daughter Ariel, yet is domineering and insensitive; in one scene he is thrown into a violent rage where he heartlessly and recklessly smashes her collection of treasures. In Beauty and the Beast, Belle’s father is lovable, but in many ways helpless. He gets lost and, after imprisoned by the Beast, is powerless in stopping Belle from ransoming her freedom for his. In Aladdin, Jasmine’s father, although possessing authority as the king, shows little power in protecting his kingdom or daughter. Shows such as these may teach children that although fathers have good intentions, they don’t always know what’s best for you. Such ideals can ingrain upon a child’s minds the need for independence and self-reliance which inevitably leads to rebellion and disrespect for the standards of his/ her parents.
What about TV? In 1999 the National Fatherhood Institute examined parenting as portrayed by TV’s prime-time dads. Of the 102 shows surveyed, only 15 fathers appeared as characters and only four of those 15 shown to be caring, competent, and good role models for their children. So, at that time, about 95% of the fathers portrayed on TV were not positive role models. I’m sure you’ve seen them; The Simpsons, Malcolm in the Middle; shows with fathers who are just in there for “the laughs,†the butts of every joke.
We live in an age where fatherhood has been depreciated and a menacing paintbrush is held raised, determined to whitewash the priceless illustration of the family we as Christians must guard. An impairing lie according to Roberto Rivera, of Focus on the Family, persuades that “the minute men start acting like traditional fathers, acting as if they are the heads of the household, acting in line with biblical principles, they run the risk of “damaging†their kids and turning their wives into ‘mutes.’ †Disciplining methods, such as spanking, are in wide-eyed horror labeled “abuse,†and those who believe the husband should be the final authority in the home are hailed as close-minded, unprogressive, chauvinists. Radical feminists, such as Peggy McIntosh in her essay “White Privilege: Unpacking the Invisible Knapsack,†advocate that for women’s oppression to cease, men, as over privileged “oppressors,†must be stripped of their unearned power. To them the idea of a traditional family headed by a father is a setback for women and for society. In compliance, the media has seemed to almost bend-backwards to prove that it is not old-fashioned in portraying women as the stereotypical stay at home mom. Thus, while the mother is portrayed as sensible and intelligent, the father is depicted as a buffoon. Instead of feeling “powerful,†as a woman, I feel disgusted. The message I perceive is that “in order for woman to be conceived as smart, men have to be the fools.†I was once taught that your desire and need to belittle people rushes from your own river of insecurity; why would we then, as women, do what these “reformists†would desire by putting men in their so called “place†unless we’re insecure about who we are? Granted, women do face discrimination in the work force as well as in other realms of society, and fathers are not perfect; they make countless mistakes, loose their tempers, and stub their toes like the rest of us. However, pushing men, and therefore fathers, to a lower position of power only produces, for women, a false aura of escalation.
In view of God’s word, a father is called to be the spiritual leader of his home as well as a compassionate, loving model of our Heavenly Father to his wife and children. Proverbs 22:6 says "Train up a child in the way he should go, even when he is old he will not depart from it†and Deuteronomy 11:19 says “And you shall teach [God's commandments] to your sons, talking of them when you sit in your house and when you walk along the road and when you lie down and when you rise up." Fathers are spiritually adorned with the authority to train their children in the way of righteousness and to teach their children God’s holy, living Word. However, in order for this to be possible they must in themselves be men of integrity who rejoice in a relationship with God. I remember reading once “You teach what you know, you reproduce who you are.†Fathers are called to model their lives after our Heavenly Father in order that their children’s lives may follow. Furthermore, in modeling Christ to their children, fathers cannot neglect the importance of respecting and loving their wives. Ephesians 5: 22 says: “Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so [let] the wives [be] to their own husbands in every thing,†also verse 25: “Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it†Husbands are not called to be dictators over their wives, but to treat them lovingly and unselfishly as Christ does to us.
I don’t want you to walk away from reading this believing that the media is “the devil’s spawn†and that tonight you need to heave your television into a bonfire in order to cleanse yourselves from its accursed filth. When you’re watching your weight do you forsake all food because doughnuts and French fries are bad for you? No, of course not, instead you monitor, and practice wisdom in choosing, what you consume. In the same way, use discernment in what you permit your children to watch. Critically preview the shows and movies you are allowing your children to see; put yourself in their position to examine what certain morals and guidelines are being advocated. A lot of what we view as normal is because the media’s told us it is so. Certainly a child, after viewing a pathetic dad in a sit-com or movie, won’t immediately think “wow, fathers are stupid, maybe my dad’s not as big as he thinks he is.†However, what your children are viewing can unconsciously gradually eat away at their mindsets, shaping their world-views. It is crucial to watch these shows with them and afterwards discuss issues such as: what happened, why, and if it’s right or not. For example: “Why did the little mermaid’s father smash up all her treasures that meant so much to her? Why was he angry? Because he was angry did that make it right for him to do that?â€Â
Hollywood has increasingly contributed to the perversion of foundational family values. Thus, in light of a scripturally based perspective, we must mold our concept of the father’s role not around what the media displays for us, but of that of our Heavenly Father. The media’s negative depiction of the father, by way of TV, movies, and advertising, will gradually eat away at child and teen viewers respect of their own fathers. However, if you will take the time to invest in it, the media can in fact prove to be a very powerful tool in teaching your children how to look at fathers, and the world, from a Biblically-based stand-point.
“Dumb Daddiesâ€Â
The Media’s Negative Portrayal of the Father
Desperate for a break from all the studying, I’m watching football with my roommate. Between quarters a commercial comes on depicting a mother and father presenting their two teenage daughters with a cell phone. The father excitedly states “now you can call us more!†to which both the girls exchange looks of dismay. The mother retaliates “and you can call your friends more!†to which they thankfully embrace her. The father uncouthly spurts out “group hug†when after he clumsily tries to hug his daughters. They evade him by hurriedly walking away with their mother, leaving him awkwardly standing alone in his lumbering ignorance. “Ick!†I manifested, lying on the floor. “What’s wrong?†my roommate Laura questioned, gazing down at me with surprise at my sudden outburst. I knew my conscience was finding its way to the soap box, but there was no way now to stop my disgust from being vented. “I can’t stand how on TV and in so many movies fathers are portrayed as bumbling idiots that their wives and children have to rise above!â€Â
It seems like I can’t watch a TV show or movie these days, especially those focused towards young people or children, without seeing fathers who are rude, childish buffoons who have no control over their lives, homes, or children. I’m sick of seeing fathers who are not regarded respectfully, don’t hold to any perceived values, and are pathetic in their powerlessness to enforce their wishes. This is not how I want the father role to be viewed by my and younger generations. Growing up in a loving, Godly home my father’s respect was demanded of me. At the time I couldn’t always see a lot of the wisdom in his rules or discipline but looking back I have a lot of “aha†moments, and “so that’s why he did that†realizations. Now as a college student, no longer a child living with my family, but not quite mature enough to start my own, I’m able to take a step back and analyze this issue from an objective stand point. I’m not a parent nor am I a child; connected to both, but not close enough to be fiercely associated with either role. The second of seven children, I value the family and believe that the father’s Biblically defined role isn’t something that should be compromised or taken lightly. My respect for that role, and for my own father, compels me to assess this dissonance I feel. If the media is constantly minimalizing and forsaking the traditional family, with the father revered as head of the household, what type of effect will it have on its audience? It is my belief that the media’s negative depiction of the father, by way of TV, movies, and advertising, will gradually eat away at child and teen viewers respect of their own fathers.
Maybe you have never considered or recognized Hollywood’s seemingly recent trend of “dumb daddies†focused in our movies, TV shows, and even commercials. Robert Rivera, in his 2000 Citizen article “Daddy (not quite) Dearest†writes: “the most telling aspects about a culture are those which merit no comment-aspects people assume to be unremarkable.†Why is it that we don’t even think twice after watching shows where fathers manipulate their children, seek only their self-interest, behave like idiotic morons, or fail to lead by example? Have we come to accept this as the norm, unconsciously desensitized to the media’s lack of positive models?
Go to Blockbuster, close your eyes, and pick up a movie; Wade Horn, president of the National Fatherhood Initiative in Gaithersburg, MD said that “If you were to choose a movie at random, among all of them released, probably you’d pick a movie with no father. That might be because there are a lot of movies that don’t focus on family situations. But even if you picked a movie where there was a family, chances are there wouldn’t be a father. And if there was a father, you’d probably find [him] negatively portrayed.†Think Disney’s The Little Mermaid, Beauty and the Beast, or Aladdin; animated films most every American child’s grown up loving. Although these movies are all highly recommendable for the truths they illustrate, look deeper, and you might sense an overhanging gloom: the inept father. In The Little Mermaid King Trident loves his daughter Ariel, yet is domineering and insensitive; in one scene he is thrown into a violent rage where he heartlessly and recklessly smashes her collection of treasures. In Beauty and the Beast, Belle’s father is lovable, but in many ways helpless. He gets lost and, after imprisoned by the Beast, is powerless in stopping Belle from ransoming her freedom for his. In Aladdin, Jasmine’s father, although possessing authority as the king, shows little power in protecting his kingdom or daughter. Shows such as these may teach children that although fathers have good intentions, they don’t always know what’s best for you. Such ideals can ingrain upon a child’s minds the need for independence and self-reliance which inevitably leads to rebellion and disrespect for the standards of his/ her parents.
What about TV? In 1999 the National Fatherhood Institute examined parenting as portrayed by TV’s prime-time dads. Of the 102 shows surveyed, only 15 fathers appeared as characters and only four of those 15 shown to be caring, competent, and good role models for their children. So, at that time, about 95% of the fathers portrayed on TV were not positive role models. I’m sure you’ve seen them; The Simpsons, Malcolm in the Middle; shows with fathers who are just in there for “the laughs,†the butts of every joke.
We live in an age where fatherhood has been depreciated and a menacing paintbrush is held raised, determined to whitewash the priceless illustration of the family we as Christians must guard. An impairing lie according to Roberto Rivera, of Focus on the Family, persuades that “the minute men start acting like traditional fathers, acting as if they are the heads of the household, acting in line with biblical principles, they run the risk of “damaging†their kids and turning their wives into ‘mutes.’ †Disciplining methods, such as spanking, are in wide-eyed horror labeled “abuse,†and those who believe the husband should be the final authority in the home are hailed as close-minded, unprogressive, chauvinists. Radical feminists, such as Peggy McIntosh in her essay “White Privilege: Unpacking the Invisible Knapsack,†advocate that for women’s oppression to cease, men, as over privileged “oppressors,†must be stripped of their unearned power. To them the idea of a traditional family headed by a father is a setback for women and for society. In compliance, the media has seemed to almost bend-backwards to prove that it is not old-fashioned in portraying women as the stereotypical stay at home mom. Thus, while the mother is portrayed as sensible and intelligent, the father is depicted as a buffoon. Instead of feeling “powerful,†as a woman, I feel disgusted. The message I perceive is that “in order for woman to be conceived as smart, men have to be the fools.†I was once taught that your desire and need to belittle people rushes from your own river of insecurity; why would we then, as women, do what these “reformists†would desire by putting men in their so called “place†unless we’re insecure about who we are? Granted, women do face discrimination in the work force as well as in other realms of society, and fathers are not perfect; they make countless mistakes, loose their tempers, and stub their toes like the rest of us. However, pushing men, and therefore fathers, to a lower position of power only produces, for women, a false aura of escalation.
In view of God’s word, a father is called to be the spiritual leader of his home as well as a compassionate, loving model of our Heavenly Father to his wife and children. Proverbs 22:6 says "Train up a child in the way he should go, even when he is old he will not depart from it†and Deuteronomy 11:19 says “And you shall teach [God's commandments] to your sons, talking of them when you sit in your house and when you walk along the road and when you lie down and when you rise up." Fathers are spiritually adorned with the authority to train their children in the way of righteousness and to teach their children God’s holy, living Word. However, in order for this to be possible they must in themselves be men of integrity who rejoice in a relationship with God. I remember reading once “You teach what you know, you reproduce who you are.†Fathers are called to model their lives after our Heavenly Father in order that their children’s lives may follow. Furthermore, in modeling Christ to their children, fathers cannot neglect the importance of respecting and loving their wives. Ephesians 5: 22 says: “Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so [let] the wives [be] to their own husbands in every thing,†also verse 25: “Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it†Husbands are not called to be dictators over their wives, but to treat them lovingly and unselfishly as Christ does to us.
I don’t want you to walk away from reading this believing that the media is “the devil’s spawn†and that tonight you need to heave your television into a bonfire in order to cleanse yourselves from its accursed filth. When you’re watching your weight do you forsake all food because doughnuts and French fries are bad for you? No, of course not, instead you monitor, and practice wisdom in choosing, what you consume. In the same way, use discernment in what you permit your children to watch. Critically preview the shows and movies you are allowing your children to see; put yourself in their position to examine what certain morals and guidelines are being advocated. A lot of what we view as normal is because the media’s told us it is so. Certainly a child, after viewing a pathetic dad in a sit-com or movie, won’t immediately think “wow, fathers are stupid, maybe my dad’s not as big as he thinks he is.†However, what your children are viewing can unconsciously gradually eat away at their mindsets, shaping their world-views. It is crucial to watch these shows with them and afterwards discuss issues such as: what happened, why, and if it’s right or not. For example: “Why did the little mermaid’s father smash up all her treasures that meant so much to her? Why was he angry? Because he was angry did that make it right for him to do that?â€Â
Hollywood has increasingly contributed to the perversion of foundational family values. Thus, in light of a scripturally based perspective, we must mold our concept of the father’s role not around what the media displays for us, but of that of our Heavenly Father. The media’s negative depiction of the father, by way of TV, movies, and advertising, will gradually eat away at child and teen viewers respect of their own fathers. However, if you will take the time to invest in it, the media can in fact prove to be a very powerful tool in teaching your children how to look at fathers, and the world, from a Biblically-based stand-point.
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