Vaudeville... dress up, go to the show, unplug worried mind and laugh

[JohnD]

I met a man on the street who asked if I could help him out, he hadn't had a bite all week.
So I bit him.

I went to the Doctor the other day and said it hurts when I do dis.
He said don' do dat!
He also said you have a terminal disease.
I said I'd like a second opinion.
He said, okay, you're ugly too.
That'll be another $149.50
I asked will you take a check?
He said in your condition? You're crazy!
I'm surprised you don't charge for that diagnosis.
He said, good idea, that'll be another $149.50.

So I bit him.

 

[JohnD]

 

[JohnD]

 

[JohnD]

 

[JohnD]

Being out-of-sorts is like the drunk who woke up in a coffin.
He thought to himself, if I'm alive, what am I doing here?
If I'm dead, how come I have to go to the bathroom?

 

[JohnD]

A blonde patrol officer pulled over a blonde speeder one day. She asked for proof of insurance and license. The driver was a bit confused and asked what a license was. "The think in your purse with your face on it, dear," the officer replied. So the driver fumbled through her purse and came up with a compact and opened it handing it to the officer. "Oh," said the officer, why didn't you tell me you were a cop? You can go."

 

[Deborah13]

Thanks JohnD

I'd forgotten all about 'Singin' in the Rain' and how kooky Donald O'Connor could be.

 

[JohnD]

Thanks JohnD

I'd forgotten all about 'Singin' in the Rain' and how kooky Donald O'Connor could be.

Always.