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What IS ok in marriage?

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Nikki

Nikki

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I can't believe I'm asking this.

:oops:

But WHAT sexually is ok to do in a marriage?

I've heard oral is wrong.


You know how stores sell these restraints and all? Is that wrong?

I'm not talking about bringing other people in or anything like that. I'm just wondering if there are boundaries that a husband and wife should not cross. :-?

My hubby would absolutly flip out if he knew I was posting this! LOL
 
I'm no expert on this...but I would think anything that would be considered disrepectful or demeaning may not be of good taste in the bedroom. Hey, what do I know? Like I said at the top, it's not like I'm an expert in this field. Anyone else wanna try? :-?
 
:lol:

I've been told that oral is wrong. I guess that was my main question.

I know the bible says somewhere in it about sex being "pure" or something like that. But, what is meant by that? I would think that whatever the husband and wife enjoy would be ok as long as it's only shared between husband and wife.

But like you...what do I know? That's why I asked! :-?
 
Hebrews 13:4 Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge
Click to expand...

That would seem to indicate to me that any sexual activity, in a loving manner, between consenting married partners is fine from the biblical standpoint.
 
This Is A Very Broad Question

Well, good question anyhow. I think it depends on the two people involved. I think reasonable Christians disagree. There are some who believe sex should only be for the purpose of procreation. Other than the Roman Catholics, though, few major church bodies take that position, and even they do not generally object to sex between couples after the woman has had menopause and is no longer able to conceive. This is perhaps a let-down for some women who are looking forward to that time because they don't like sex much anyhow.

Personally I am not opposed to sex for pleasure in marriage. I believe there is a verse in Song of Solomon which suggests oral-genital contact. Actually I think many women's objections to performing oral is their partner's don't bathe. That's nothing soap and warm water can't fix.

Many people have personal objections to sexual contact at the other place, the back door. The problem there is the one doing the penetrating is often overeager or not enough lubrication is used.

Any Christian bookstore will have a selection of "marriage manuals" from an evangelical perspective. I haven't seen it but I understand Tim and Beverly LaHaye wrote a sex manual in the 1980s which suggested they believe sex acts in the marriage relationship including the two I mentioned above are acceptable if both husband and wife agree. There are also plenty in mainstream bookstores including one in the "For Dummies" series by Dr. Ruth Westheimer.
 
God gave you those sexual urges to use when you're married. If your'e married, you are allowed to do whatever you want sexually, at least that what it seems like. (especially after reading the verse Havoc wrote)
I have to say I don't think women's objections to oral is always a cleanliness issue, we want the favor returned. :wink:
 
Anariel said:
I have to say I don't think women's objections to oral is always a cleanliness issue, we want the favor returned. :wink:
Click to expand...

I stand corrected on that. Certainly true.
 
There are some who believe sex should only be for the purpose of procreation.
Click to expand...

AHHHHH!!!!! :o *running to become a nun*

:lol: No more kiddos for me thank you! Love my 2 more than life, but NO MORE!
 
sillynikki said:
There are some who believe sex should only be for the purpose of procreation.
Click to expand...

AHHHHH!!!!! :o *running to become a nun*

:lol: No more kiddos for me thank you! Love my 2 more than life, but NO MORE!
Click to expand...

I've encountered these types on other message boards. They are a trip. I don't think any I've ever encountered were Catholic, and none really belonged to any mainstream sect; mostly they came to that position on their own. They are sincere and earnest, but way off IMHO.

but to think, 100 years ago that was mainstream opinion. Who says humans aren't capable of progress? 8)
 
Do you have a concern as to why we should not discuss it? It seemed like a reasonable question to me but then I view it from a different perspective perhaps than you.
 
Windtalker,

Sorry if I offended you, but it's something that I've always questioned, but was too embarrased to bring it up to anyone else. :sad
 
If you can't turn to God who else can you ask? I would suggest go to your pastor, or pray to God, (even your husband) and ask about this, remember there are children on these forums.

God Bless,
Tom
 
If you both agree to it, and you both want it, go right ahead, as long as you still honour you partner
 
G Rated

I'll respond in a very "clean" manner, Windtalker.

It is my opinion that the wife's body and the husband's body are not their own but are each other's once they are married, for they have become one flesh. Thus, coitus and any forms of foreplay are allowed, except that I believe the Bible is unallowing in sodemy (can't remember exactly though). One reason would be the likelihood of infection involved, as you might imagine.

Hope that helps,

BL
 
I have read many of the posts and have heard many replies.

I have been married for 7 years and have three children. This by no means makes me an expert.

My wife and I have discussed this subject many times and have come to the conclusion through prayer, scriptures, and council, that the only acts that are to be avoided are intercourse when a women is in her menstrual cycle and anal intercourse. This must be an agreement between you, your spouce, and the Lord. Any derailment from this could have a drastic impact in your marriage. This decision must be one of common ground.

That's about as honest and as clean as I could post it. It is a legitimate question and I applaud your courage and sincerity VicJr in posting in the correct thread "Parenting and Marriage" not "General Talk"
 
I must disagree with you about the menstrual cycle. I always thought God made them abstain then because it was harder to be clean. They didn't even take a bath every day or anything so, you can imagine. :oops: The women even had a seperate tent right? You don't make your wife go sleep in the garage do you? :wink: (joking of course!)


A lot of thing God made the early humans do, like not eat pork, was for their own safety, but we can eat pork now :biggrin
 
Coitus during Menstruation

Anariel has a good point. Much of the laws of Moses were helpful in preventing the spread of diseases within the nation. In the context that the Israelites lived in, people were pretty disgusting.

Now whether or not coitus during menstruation is no longer forbidden is something for each couple to come to a conclusion on based on prayer and learning.

Later,

BL
 
I'll say it again, I am no expert, but lets give this some thought. Some STD's (i.e. HIV) are blood transmitted diseases. SO unless both parties (husband and wife, 8) ) are 100% sure they are clean, intercourse during menstruation may be unwise. To add to that, some people may think that intercourse during this time reduces or eliminates the chance of getting pregnant. Wrong!
A woman cannot get pregnant during her period because the hormonal levels that trigger ovulation are completely opposite during menstruation. However, a woman CAN get pregnant from intercourse during her period if she has an early ovulation and has sex on Day 5 or later of her cycle.
Click to expand...
http://www.mommymojo.com/fertility_myths.html
 
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