My Aunt used to say:You know, my dad used to say better to be single and wished you were married than married and wished you were single
Better alone
Than mal-accompanied.
(comes out better in Italian).
Meglio soli
che malaccompagnati.
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My Aunt used to say:You know, my dad used to say better to be single and wished you were married than married and wished you were single
The lyrics say exactly what others are stating, like Marci and Riven (but I have to read his again).Sister, you can take this down if you want, but it's likely no coincidence that I was discussing the following video with someone just today. What happens is that they get hurt by the world - maybe family, maybe friends in school, maybe people on the internet - so they look for someone to heal them. The pain causes them to RUSH into relationships, and often into sexual sin with others before they even know what they are doing, or have any idea what the other person is all about and how to make the relationship work. So then it fails, they become even more hurt, and seek for someone else to heal the pain, and the cycle starts all over again.
That's what this song is about. It's pretty rough, so for the grannies out there I'd say turn it down a bit, but the song is an accurate description of why people get so screwed up to begin with.
Take it down and just leave the lyrics if it's too risqué, but it goes to point.
Kings X - Alone
No one should be made to feel Alone
No one should be made to feel rejected... and to feel the pain
No one should be made to feel unwanted... and to feel the hate
Sticks and stones breaking bones
Names and words they hurt you
Effecting everything
No one should be made to feel alone
Nobody, nobody should
No one should be made to feel alone
Alone, alone
No one should be made to feel their heart break... and to feel unloved
No one should be made to feel they're ugly... and to feel ashamed
Sticks and stones breaking bones
Names and words they hurt you
Effecting everything
No one should be made to feel alone
Nobody, nobody should
No one should be made to feel alone
Should be made to feel alone
No one should be made to feel alone
Nobody, nobody, nobody
No one should be made to feel alone
Should be made to feel alone
Alone, alone, alone, alone
No one should be made to feel alone
Nobody, nobody
No one should be made to feel alone
Nobody should be made to feel alone
No one should be made to feel alone
No, no, no, oh, nobody, nobody no
No one should be made to feel alone
Nobody, nobody
They (the polls) say that as a man ages, he can still find a mate.Just based on what I'm seeing, we live in a throw away society. The same goes for people. Once they are no longer of value it's so long sally. I don't know about you all but I don't want to commit again to someone who isn't gonna stay. Who isn't gonna work to build a relationship. It's not worth the waste of time. Relationships are not what they used to be. And many people these days are so messed up with drugs and crime they can't be a proper mate anyway. These kids are ready to jump ship if it starts sinking. It's look out for number 1 now. I'm almost 60 and my father wishes I had a mate. I've had 2. Neither worked out and I've seen what's available and no thank you. I'd rather die alone.
Oh my gosh. I've never posted so many sad emoji.My take on this is it's because there's no benefit. Marriage used to be a valuable commodity in our society. It used to mean you were stable, dependable, and some idiot liked you enough to put a ring on your hand and say I do.
Now marriage is seen as a last resort. It's what you do when you've run out of options and you just want someone there to help pay the bills. My mother's marriage is like two roommates living together. They don't even sleep in the same bed.
I look at the situation, skeptical as I am, and I do a risk analysis. I can marry this woman and oh involve the state in my personal affairs. If it doesn't work out, she gets half. If I don't marry this woman and it doesn't work out, she gets nothing and I get to keep everything that's mine.
Savvy?
Cute puppy.Thou hast no fear of God? Lol.
So much I could post to rub your nose in that one, but I'll refrain.
View attachment 15033
People always slept with people outside of marriage.Use to be that a man had to marry a women to be able to sleep with her. It provided security for her and any children that result. Now women are foolish enough to not think about the future but only “tonight”. So any children that come she can raise by herself. Now you can tell me that there’s birth control and I can then ask why there so many single moms.
I understand your position from a materialistic viewpoint. And in the divorces I know, the woman went out for “adventure” shunning the security she had. The men weren’t devastated that they had to share goods. They were devastated that the woman they deeply loved wanted something more.
What is missing is what Jordan Peterson describes as the terrible loneliness of old age with no family. Those who have committed to one man or one woman throughout life cannot finds words to describe the depth of happiness that brings. But it takes commitment through thick and thin. That willingness to endure that ability to value delayed satisfaction, is rare in our pleasure today society.
Not to the degree of acceptance today.People always slept with people outside of marriage.
Why pay for something you can get for free? Single mother families were rare. Now they’re common.I can't see that as being the cause....
(of not getting married, I mean).
I do.People always slept with people outside of marriage.
I can't see that as being the cause....
(of not getting married, I mean).
But then it means THEY DON'T LOVE EACH OTHERI do.
No need to marry when you can enjoy it all and just leave easily .
But then it means THEY DON'T LOVE EACH OTHER
and should not be married in the first place!
So then it's a good thing they didn't get married!
Marriage if forever, or it's supposed to be.
This is one of the problems IMO, the young see all this divorce and get scared,
or think it's normal.
Yeah, I guess it is. Although it's based on being the guy who's on the outside looking in. Never married and everyone I know has been married and divorced several times. Been through it myself when I was a kid and it's really not a pleasant experience.
Because they're rebellious and immoral and want pleasure without the responsibility of it and want options and polygamy and be able to bail out. And not take accountability or responsibility.When I married my husband (back in the caveman days) we had nothing.
We desired to live together to share our life, and we would build our life
together, but being married and not each one of us living in their parents
home, but building our own home.
What has changed?
Why does the current generation prefer to live together instead of getting married?
Is there fear, uncertainty?
What?
Why aren't young persons of today getting married?
Jordan Peterson talks about this. He says that women are lied to regarding the satisfaction of job over family and realize it too late. As it is, a woman has few years to find a mate because of biology. If she educated herself, the years lengthen while she’s doing this and then possibilities are even further reduced. Many universities have a female to make ratio of 2 to 1, so that narrows it further. Eventually she is competing against younger females as well. The higher her education, the less the chances of finding a male and having a family.They (the polls) say that as a man ages, he can still find a mate.
As a woman ages, it become harder and harder.
I think a woman has a better capability of living alone just practicality-wise, and the feeling sinks in, as has happened to you, that a mate may not be worth all the pain involved.
My husband and I loved each other fully, but, yes, there was pain involved too but a deep commitment to stay together our whole life.
I don't see this anymore.
The attitude SEEMS TO BE, if it doesn't work out, we'll get a divorce.
That's not the attitude to have to go into a real marriage.
Yeah, I guess it is. Although it's based on being the guy who's on the outside looking in. Never married and everyone I know has been married and divorced several times. Been through it myself when I was a kid and it's really not a pleasant experience.
I see the potential value in marriage of the two people stay together. I wasn't trying to denigrate marriage with my original post or anyone that's married. It was more of a reaction to seeing what a divorce does to a family.
This goes back pretty deep into our society in the West devaluing traditional values and saying they weren't progressive or forward thinking enough to advanced society, primarily women, and were a hindrance.When I married my husband (back in the caveman days) we had nothing.
We desired to live together to share our life, and we would build our life
together, but being married and not each one of us living in their parents
home, but building our own home.
What has changed?
Why does the current generation prefer to live together instead of getting married?
Is there fear, uncertainty?
What?
Why aren't young persons of today getting married?
My Aunt used to say:
Better alone
Than mal-accompanied.
(comes out better in Italian).
Meglio soli
che malaccompagnati.
Ugh the need to have a discussion with Jaci over this.This goes back pretty deep into our society in the West devaluing traditional values and saying they weren't progressive or forward thinking enough to advanced society, primarily women, and were a hindrance.
I think Riven touched on it from a male's perspective, but I'd say the male perspective has gradually come about due to the female perspective and society's coddling of said perspective because of the hyper man hating feminist movement.
What the culture says to girls - young women: "Being a mom is slavery. Being a wife is slavery. You don't NEED a man to do anything. (There are vids of young girls foolishly saying they could have children, absolutely without any men. When the guys and girls tried to explain to them where sperm came from, they still didn't get it. This is one example of the extreme.) Get married when you've fulfilled all of your career goals. Be like men. Cooking and cleaning are beneath you, that's slavery! Submissiveness is slavery! Men are all evil, lustful beasts, lying in wait in the dark corners of everywhere looking to take advantage of you and the patriarchy will help them get away with it. Sleep with as many men as you want, it's what men do. Don't let them slut shame you, girl! Where the clothes that make you feel better, those men better not look at you! If he leaves take him for everything he has. If you hit him, he can't do anything because it will be seen as abuse. If you abuse him no one will believe him. Girls rule the world! You deserve and ultra high value man, have your standards in the clouds of fantasy land, there's someone out there that will meet them. You don't really have to meet a man's standards, men shouldn't have standards, that's misogynistic. You did something wrong? Don't worry about it. Here, we'll give you a super light sentence compared to what he got. Etc. Etc. Most damaging of all for certain communities is the government will pay you to have children so long as there's not a man in the house. So, young woman who likely got her values and principles from public schools and her peer group, go forth and never get married to your children's fathers because you will get a monthly stipend, magic government money to buy food, free or super cheap housing. Oh, warning: Once you start trying to do anything to better yourself, you might get kicked off of all these programs once you get your first check from your new job. Depends on where you live."
Starting to see a pattern?
What the culture says to boys - young men: "You're too toxic (if he acts like a boy). You're too aggressive (if he acts like a boy). Here, let's put you on this drug to make you calm down (if he acts like a boy, although, to be fair, they don't do this as much as they used to when I was growing up). Women don't need men. Women don't need you to do anything for them at all. Women only want you for money. Women only want you to make babies with them and then go away and then pay them money (child support). Even if you can prove the woman isn't fit to raise the children, family court will still give her the children and make you pay her and the government money (child support). You're worthless. Society no longer needs you. You're only worth anything when you give women money. You're only worth anything when you die, but not really, after you die we will dig up everything wrong about you and drag your name through the mud (to be fair, they do this to women who don't think right also). How dare you call yourself the leader of your home, that's misogynistic. How dare you have standards for the type of woman you want, that's misogynistic. How dare you say you want a woman to be a homemaker, that's slavery. How dare you say you want a woman with traditional values you racist, sexist, misogynistic, homophobic [insert every current year buzz word in the book, especially if said male is of the light skin color group membership]) Etc. Etc. Etc. Most damaging of all for certain communities is, the government will pay her to have children so long as you are not the man in the house. So, young man who was likely raised by busy parents and got his values and principles on life primarily from public school and his peer groups, go forth and make many, many, many children out of wedlock."
So, the overarching problem is culture. Culture influences everything. Culture removes one parent from the home, creates a two parent working household which leaves the children to be raised by strangers by way of public schools and their peers. Busy parents working to pay bills in a two-working-household economy that's been around since women fought to go to work, these busy parents often don't make time to instill in their children traditional values like "get married to the right person" because they were the product of busy parents who didn't do that.
Speaking for myself. I grew up in a divorced home. My mom remarried, and spent all her time in a combative relationship. Yes, one time, after I got big enough I had to jump on my step father cause he hit my mom. It wasn't a regular occurrence and after he and I got into it, he never did that again. At least, not in my presence. Don't really know what he was thinking when he did. He was drunk. I digress. The point I'm making is that you have children like me, who get their idea of a relationship from a combination of broken households with bad relationships, their friends, and the culture: music, television, movies, etc. The latter which form fantasy ideas or very, very, very bad ideas in their mind on what a relationship should be or simply how to use the opposite sex for personal gain, etc.
It's a problem that would be very difficult to fix as current trending social culture in the West is very much against any sort of traditional value system. It sees it as regressive. Despite the flaws of the progressive value system that has been advanced in Western culture for decades. Despite the harm it does to women and men.
I mean it's so bad that despite my Christian beliefs I'm thinking of telling my son and three daughters to just never consider getting married, but at the same time I want to tell my three daughters to trash the feminism if they want to find decent men, but will have to also warn them that most young men have checked out due to the way society has robbed men of having a voice.
It was kind of tongue in cheek. Last resort meaning they're getting older and certain things take priority over others. That can be health, a desire for stability, or a career.I mean, what do you mean by MARRIAGE IS SEEN AS A LAST RESORT.
(careers come first?)