It started back in August when I found out that my wife is divorcing me because she's not happy with me and our relationship was toxic. It was both sides at fault, not just one or the other. I have repented of anything I did wrong in the relationship and asked for forgiveness from my wife, which she has granted, but she still wants the divorce to happen.
Then that same month my 12 year old daughter (one of my daughters from a previous non-marital relationship which I have mentioned on here before. I have five kids total from that relationship and they live in Upstate, NY while I'm in Florida) was in a serious ATV accident that killed her best friend and nearly killed her. Now she is having difficulties in school that she never had before the accident. She is having trouble with planning and organization. She was a straight A student, high honor roll and was supposed to be in advanced Spanish and math this year. She gets headaches when she works her brain too hard. We know it's from the major concussion she suffered, but it could very well be permanent.
Now the one pet sitting client who's dog I walk three times a week is taking the dog on the road with them permanently. That is a loss of income. My other part-time job hasn't called me in over three weeks to do any assignments. More loss of income.
To top it off, I ended up in an accident on my way to my third part-time job. It was my fault, but it's just one more thing added on that I didn't need. Since my vehicle only has liability on it and I have to try and find a way to get it fixed. Looking at over $2000 worth of damage.
Just one major bad thing after another.
Why is God punishing me? I feel like giving up on life, not suicide, just more like withdrawing from life. I am getting to the point where I feel like there is too much on my plate and more just keeps getting added on.
I just have no clue what to do anymore.
On top of the accident, I was ticketed and have a fine to pay. Now I need to go to traffic school to have the points removed, but my car insurance will go up by 80% (already talked with the insurance company) and will keep me from getting a job as an EMT which I was going to do to better my situation.
It's almost as if God hates me I fundamentally know that isn't true, but it still feels like it.
Then that same month my 12 year old daughter (one of my daughters from a previous non-marital relationship which I have mentioned on here before. I have five kids total from that relationship and they live in Upstate, NY while I'm in Florida) was in a serious ATV accident that killed her best friend and nearly killed her. Now she is having difficulties in school that she never had before the accident. She is having trouble with planning and organization. She was a straight A student, high honor roll and was supposed to be in advanced Spanish and math this year. She gets headaches when she works her brain too hard. We know it's from the major concussion she suffered, but it could very well be permanent.
Now the one pet sitting client who's dog I walk three times a week is taking the dog on the road with them permanently. That is a loss of income. My other part-time job hasn't called me in over three weeks to do any assignments. More loss of income.
To top it off, I ended up in an accident on my way to my third part-time job. It was my fault, but it's just one more thing added on that I didn't need. Since my vehicle only has liability on it and I have to try and find a way to get it fixed. Looking at over $2000 worth of damage.
Just one major bad thing after another.
Why is God punishing me? I feel like giving up on life, not suicide, just more like withdrawing from life. I am getting to the point where I feel like there is too much on my plate and more just keeps getting added on.
I just have no clue what to do anymore.
On top of the accident, I was ticketed and have a fine to pay. Now I need to go to traffic school to have the points removed, but my car insurance will go up by 80% (already talked with the insurance company) and will keep me from getting a job as an EMT which I was going to do to better my situation.
It's almost as if God hates me I fundamentally know that isn't true, but it still feels like it.